What she doesn't know

Thank you for this amazing post about 3-year-old daughters! I couldn't have said it better myself. (*Tears streaming down my face!*)

What She Doesn't Know

At times I can already feel my little 3-year-old growing up and slipping away. If only I could hold on to special moments like this forever!

Some Alternatives to Punishment

I love this article from SW Parents.

It has helped me rethink how I approach my two-year-old's behavior.  We have been struggling with independence and stubbornness lately, and so my natural reaction is to put my foot down and say "No!  I'm the mom so I get to make all the decisions!"  In essence, I'm giving her the perfect example of a stubborn, independence driven temper tantrum.  I didn't stop to realize that my child's "misbehavior" is also a form of communication.  I should have seen her tantrums as a way of saying "Mom, I'm growing up.  I can handle this."  And you know what, she can.  And you know what else?  The "punishments" we have used in the past really don't work very well.  It just creates negativity and hurt feelings.

I learned a valuable trick from my sister recently.  Instead of nagging her kids to eat their dinner, she cheers them on by saying "Go, Eva, go!  You can do it!"  Talk about an uplifting dinner routine!  Since then, my two-year-old has started cheering us on when we eat all our food.  It's pretty much the cutest thing ever!  That never would have happened if I had continued threatening my daughter instead of encouraging her.

As a final note, I'm not saying that we should let our kids walk all over us parents.  I'm just saying there is a better way than letting yourself get worked up about misbehavior, a lesson I have had to learn over and over again.  (I will probably have to learn it many more times before I get the hang of it!) So try encouragement instead of threats.  These tricks might work for you:

From SW Parents:

1. Show kids what you DO want them to do, and support them, encourage them, catch them doing it, praise them.  Give them positive options!
2. Change the child’s environment so that it supports positive behaviors.  Simple example: don’t keep the jar of cookies where your 3 year old can reach them.  More complex example: figure out how long of a playdate your kid can handle before falling apart.  Keep playdates within that time frame until you’re both ready to experiment with incremental increases.
3. Figure out what’s behind the unwanted/negative behaviors.  Behavior is a communication, I like to say… what is your child’s behavior saying to you?  Hint: it’s usually something along the lines of: “I’m tired and over stimulated” or “I can’t handle this much freedom,” or “I really need more time with you/attention from you,” or “Something’s not right with me,” or  “I am not getting enough opportunities to feel powerful and in charge of my life.”  When parents understand what the child’s behavior is communicating, they can better meet the underlying need… which generally has a positive effect on the unwanted behavior!

FHE - made easy

This comes from my friend Heather -

"Something I've been using lately with Kailey for personal scripture reading time is the Gospel Art kit book. We take one picture each day and read some of the scriptures that go with each one (for us we've only read the Book of Mormon scriptures and we're reading them out of Kailey's Book of Mormon to make it more personal). Kailey will repeat the words of a scripture after me so she feels like she is reading them too. Then we talk about the scripture and picture. I've only done it for a week, but I've actually enjoyed doing it and look forward to the time to read scriptures with her and talk about the pictures. I like that the scriptures and pictures are already chosen (no prep work for me...whew...one less thing to worry about and just go with the flow). It's nice that there is something to look at to keep her focused and the thought/discussion is short. We also sing a song first, pray, read/discuss, sing, and pray. It gives us a chance to also practice our children's songs. I'm in the process of trying out some activities I want to do if I decide to homeschool. This is one of those things I want to continue and as she gets older, the lessons will be longer. I call it her "seminary" time. And as I homeschool, I do want her to have "seminary" time each day where she is focusing on learning about the gospel besides other educational pursuits. I think it helps me and it helps her. I just wanted to post how helpful the Gospel Art kit book can be for personal scripture reading with a child or maybe even for a family home evening lesson."


I thought this was such a good idea that I started doing some of my own research.  I went to LDS.org and found some great links, like this one that lets you browse pictures by topic, and this one that has the pictures labeled in chronological order.  

You can buy the Gospel Art Kit at a distribution center for $3.50.

There is also a Gospel Art Kit app for your smart phone or tablet!  $1.99 buys you access to 600 pages of gospel related pictures.  What a great way to provide uplifting spiritual nourishment for your family!

Choosing to Indulge in the Everyday - Marie

This is a post from my friend, Marie.  What I admire so much about her is that she is smart and capable and dedicated.  She is the kind of person that can simply stick to a decision no matter the difficulty (well, at least it seems that way to me).  With her strength of character, she has the ability to be powerful in the world.  And yet she chooses to be powerful in her family instead.  I have no doubt that Proverbs 31:28 will be her description:  "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her".   Her kids will be so grateful for her skills and for making the sacrifice to be their special mom instead of being a "powerful woman" in the eyes of the world.  She is unselfish and Christlike and very admirable.  I want to be more like Marie.  

Here are her words about choosing to "indulge" in the greatest joy we can find as mothers, our kids -- 

Carpet lines. If you're wondering what the first picture is supposed to be of that is your answer. I love carpet lines--the lines created in certain types of carpet after you vacuum. When I was younger and as I grew older, I realized that I wanted carpet lines. 

The carpet in my house growing up was not conducive to carpet lines. It was bumpy and green. If you've seen Toy Story, you've seen the carpet I grew up with. You might not have realized you saw it, but you did. Now go think back and remember Sid's room. Remember when Buzz and Woody are coming out of the backpack and there are all the reconstructed toys. Can't remember? Just google search "toy story sid's room" and you can see images. Well, Sid's carpet was our carpet.

Now, I'm not saying I was deprived as a child. I remember liking our bumpy, green carpet because it made nice "bushes" for my toy animals to eat. But what I am saying is that that carpet couldn't have carpet lines and that when I finished vacuuming I wanted those perfect lines to appear. Those lines that say, "Look at this lovely freshly-vacuumed floor." I don't know why, but I just knew that if I could have carpet lines vacuuming would be better. And you know what? I was right. For me, creating vacuum lines makes me feel happy and in some weird way accomplished. Vacuum lines are one of those simple pleasures that make doing those "have-to-do" things enjoyable.

You may also notice in that top picture that those carpet lines are just not right. There are itty bitty footprints in those carpet lines! If those footprints made me angry, I would say that they mar those perfect lines. Thankfully, for my sanity would surely be lost, those footprints make me happy. They are another simple pleasure (and complicated pleasure certainly). 

Look at the cute little feet and pudgy legs that made those footprints!

Aren't they just the cutest?!? These feet and legs belong to the smallest love of my life and he is constantly leaving marks all over. Special touches and dashes of light. Messes I will miss because he no longer wants to spend his time near me or he is "too big" to make them anymore. I'll enjoy the piles of books he asks me to read while he still asks me to read them. I'll make towers for him to topple while he still needs me to help build them. I'll do my best to enjoy each question and answer it as best as I can. I'll cherish every cuddle even those that are a bit clingy.

Those beautiful feet make perfect footprints that adorn my carpet lines. Those carpet lines accent those footprints, making it so they are noticed, highlighted, showcased. Reminding me of how lucky and blessed I am. Reminding me to appreciate all the moments because I get to experience them. Those footprints are most definitely a simple pleasure--and a huge blessing.

I'll let Owen continue to show you some of the other simple pleasures I enjoy. I absolutely love hearing Owen say and call for "Mommy" and "Mom."

I sure hope he knows that Mommy loves him!

I wondered for awhile whether he knew the word mom. He would say dad so easily and often. All I had to do was say, "Let's go see Dad," and he'd start looking around for and repeating "Da. Da. Da." Every time we come home whether it is from a friend's house or from the store, Owen starts repeating "Dad" as we get out of the car, walk up the stairs and get inside the house. He's asking if Dad is home; no matter what I respond, he will keep asking and look expectantly for Dad when we enter.

The first time I remember him really saying "Mom" was when he called me from the other room. I'd left him in his highchair with food I knew he wouldn't choke on, so I could go to the bathroom. Moments after I left, I heard him calling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" I was so excited! There was proof that he knew the word mom and that he knew mom was me. I need to remember how wonderful it felt to be called as he gets older. I still love it now when he calls for me in our little apartment.

Another simple pleasure of mine is watching Owen read.

Obviously, he isn't reading words yet (though he does a pretty adorable job of it), but he does look at pictures and flip through pages as I've shown before. He loves to be read to and read by himself. I just love watching him pick out a book and read it. When I realize that all those books off the shelf came off because he was reading them, I don't mind so much picking them up again. 

The last simple pleasure I'm going to share today is watching Owen discover the humidifier (and just about any new discovery makes the list). 

Perhaps you noticed my croaky voice in the "mommy loves me" video. Well, I got a minor case of bronchitis which came with a nasty cough. To try and get some sleep, I followed the doctor's suggestion to try a cool mist humidifier at night. When Owen came to wake me up in the morning with his daddy, he discovered it. It became an instant favorite.

I definitely feel like I can't let these moments slip away. It's so easy to feel busy and to be busy. When I try to do too much and take things too fast, I miss these simple pleasures. It's the little things that make life meaningful and fun. The little things forge relationships and bring happiness. I've noticed that on those days when all I want is for nap time to come or Tyler to come home or Owen's bed time to arrive, I'm letting all the moments pass and I'm not happy. I'm waiting for the next day. And then I realize that there isn't anything coming up. All I'm doing is missing everything huge and special because I'm taking it for granted! I'm missing my baby being a toddler. I'm missing this amazing amount of free time, couple time, and family time with Tyler. I'm letting it all go by and not enjoying any of it. I know that later, I'll miss this time and I don't want to have regrets about not taking advantage of this time with Tyler and Owen. I feel like I just have realize it anew every day. If I keep remembering then I can be the wife and mother and woman I want to be. I choose to remember. I choose to indulge in my everyday.

School Lunch - Made Easy

It's October and school is in full swing.  Getting bored of making school lunches yet?  My friend Ashlee submitted this awesome link about making school lunches more fun and more convenient:

lunch box cheat sheet

I love it!  Even though I don't have school-aged kids yet, I still use this cheat sheet from time to time.  I included the list here...

lunch box cheat sheet

Tips

• Place a frozen juice box in your kids’ lunchbox. – it’ll keep the food chilled and will be thawed by lunchtime.
• Go for variety. Make sandwiches using whole grain tortillas, bagels or pitas.
• Pack antibacterial wet wipes so your kids can clean their hands before and after eating.
• Add grated veggies to sandwiches and wraps for crunch – your kids won’t notice they’re eating something that’s good for them!
• Use small resealable bags to pack dressings. Kids can open one corner and simply squeeze onto salad, then discard.
• Get dipping! Pack salsa, hummus, yogurt or salad dressing for your little ones to dunk their sandwich, veggies or fruit into.
• Make bite-sized and mini versions of regular foods like sandwiches. They work well for small appetites and are more likely to be eaten.
• Add a quick note to say good luck on a test or “I love you” – it will brighten your child’s day.

This is a great list.  Looking back, now I know why mom my mom used to put a frozen juice box and ranch dressing in my lunch.  I loved how my drink turned into a slushy, and dipping my carrots in ranch dressing made me feel pretty cool.

Did you know that kids LIKE hummus?  It's so healthy!  I can get my toddler to eat so many vegetables as longs as I have hummus around (and if we run out of veggies, we eat the hummus with a spoon).  My favorite hummus recipe is this:


Easy Blender Hummus

1 can garbanzo beans (save liquid)

1 clove garlic

2 tsp cumin

1-2 Tbs peanut butter

splash of lemon juice (optional)

Put all ingredients in a blender and turn it on low.  While blending, slowly add saved liquid into the blender until you reach the desired consistency (I use about 2/3 of the liquid).  Serve with bell peppers, carrots, cucumbers, pita chips, cauliflower etc.  


Speaking from personal experience, I love the convenience of disposable resealable bags.  For $2, you can get 100 tidy sandwich bags that can be used for so many things!  I like to put partially used food items (like onions, bananas, avocados etc) in the bags and stick them in the fridge.  Then I re-use the bag if it's still good later.  I'm all about cheap convenience.

Another tip I recently started using (and I'm probably the last mom in the world to try this one) is frozen Go-Gurt.  It turns into a delicious push-up popsicle!  Yeah, it's not the most healthy snack, but it's a perfect treat for a toddler who doesn't know the difference between ice cream and frozen yogurt :)

Be sure to browse the rest of the kraft.com website!  There are lots of ideas about healthy and easy lunch ideas.  Another little gem is this page:

cooking skills by age

Some days you just want your kids out of the kitchen.  But other times it can be enriching to let your kids "help out" a little bit.  And I bet that your kids will remember those special moments when you let them have the extra freedom, even if it means a bit more work for you.  In fact, here is a list of easy recipes your kids will enjoy making and eating:

kids can cook

One last tip.  We recently had to clear out one of our cabinets for a new dishwasher.  Well, the dishwasher didn't happen as punctually as we thought it would, so the empty cabinet naturally became a secret hideout for my 2-year-old.  And it's hilarious.  And it's convenient.  So when I need some space, I can send her to the secret hideout with a little snack and her favorite toy.  Works almost every time.  It has been so fun that I'm almost sad to install the dishwasher.  (Almost.  After all, it's a DISHWASHER.)  I think I'll just empty out a different cabinet so we don't lose the secret hideout when the dishwasher comes in next week :)

What are your favorite lunch time tricks?

Rachel's Tips: Part 1

I have been excited to share this post for a long time.  Rachel is one of my dear friends.  When I first met her, I had a newborn baby and was struggling with my identity as a mom.  Rachel was pregnant with her 2nd boy, had big responsibilities at church, and still managed to serve people around her.  You could tell by looking at her that she is sweet, humble and confident.  I admit that I was intimidated by her goodness.  I wanted to be a mom like her, but I thought "A girl like Rachel would never be friends with a girl like me".  How quickly she resolved that problem!  She now has 2 boys and is expecting a baby girl in December.  What a cute family! 

When I asked her to participate in FB&FM, she took her time to ponder what advice she could offer as a mom.  This is part 1 of what will be several posts, which I am very excited about :).  I have been thinking about this advice for some time now, and it has helped me realize the way I am portraying myself to my kids on a daily basis.  I want my kids to believe that it is my greatest joy to take care of them -- not my greatest burden.  What an important way to establish confidence and emotional stability in their young lives!  I especially like the last few lines: "they hopefully get the message that I am the mom and there isn't anything they can throw at me that I can't calmly deal with." Anyway, enough from me.  Here is what Rachel has to say:

Make my children believe that they are easy to be taken care of

I am the mom who is always seeking advice, or mommy tricks, from other moms so I've had a hard time coming up with something of my own to share. However, after a little thought, I remembered something that helps me keep it together--mentally--when I'm about. To pull. My hair. Out. Because sometimes I am despite how much I love my kids and my job (mothering).

So, on to one of my "french braids and freezer meals".

I try to make my children believe that they are EASY to take care of by believing, myself, that they are easy to take care of. It sounds kind of manipulative but I don't like to think of it that way. It's a frame of mind for me that keeps me sane, and it's a message, I can show through my example, that transfers to my kids and magically--or so it seems--they ARE EASY(er) to take care of. (Whether they are easier or whether it's just my frame of mind, if it makes my life easier and happier, I'll take it.)

Believing and showing my kids that they are easy to take care of can be very hard to do when I've heard the ump-teenth "why?" of the day (my son is 4). Or when I'm trying to make dinner and my boys are under my legs, screaming and crying, and asking for snacks and treats. Or when my son has colored outside of the lines and wants me to print out another Bob the Builder coloring page--the 5th in 10 minutes--because it has to be perfect.

These are examples of times (and they all happened today) that my children do things that frankly annoy me (can I say that?). They're not hurting anyone, and they're not necessarily being disrespectful. They're just being kids. But, at those times I don't feel like responding in the most loving way. I want to respond in a desperate way. I want to roll my eyes, use a frustrated tone, tell them to "Be quiet!" or even beg, "Just give me ten (boo-hoo) minutes!"

Doing those things sends my kids the message that they are HARD to take care of and maybe that I don't really enjoy taking care of them, which is far from the truth, and a message I do not want to send them. At those frustrating times, what I try to do is:

• Catch myself getting annoyed (before I blow up or behave like a child myself).
• Remember that they are just kids and I'm the "mature adult".
• Take a deep breath, smile at them, and calmly offer my help, "What do you need?" 

*At this point my child is usually still frustrated or throwing a tantrum and makes the request in a childish way. Surprise, surprise. Despite my frazzled nerves I stay calm.

• I smile at my child or show empathy (hold, hug, kiss). Do you think they're getting the message that they are easy to take care of/I know what I'm doing?
• I tell myself, "this is easy; I can be the responsible adult".
• My mentality is: I can show him by my example that I can deal calmly with frustrating situations (even if he's the one making this a frustrating situation). 

At this point my response to the request, or the consequence of my child's behavior is determined by the situation and the rules of our house (e.g. I normally wouldn't let my kids have treats or snacks while I'm preparing dinner, even if they do calm down and ask kindly). I use my parental discretion--and you can, too.

But, whatever I do choose to do, I show confidence and love in my decision. That way, even if my kids aren't happy with what I've decided they hopefully get the message that I am the mom and there isn't anything they can throw at me that I can't calmly deal with.

Taking care of them is--becomes--EASY.

From the Editor

Hi friends!  You already know what my top two favorite tricks are (take a look at the title of the blog) but I have a few more up my sleeve.  Here it goes!


entertaining toddlers:
- Rescue Pack -- Before my second daughter was born, I made a "rescue pack" of fun activities for my toddler to play with to give me some time to focus on my new baby.  It has bubbles, playdough, markers, craft sticks, paints, stickers and paper.  It has been very helpful, especially when other kids come over.
- Sing & Dance movies and educational movies --  I know what experts say... no TV under the age of 2 and only half an hour a week after (or something like that).  But I have a hard time saying no to a movie if it helps my daughter learn the alphabet or if she's singing and dancing the whole time the TV is on.  Obviously she isn't just vegging in front of the TV.  She's learning something, and I'm getting something done, so it's worth it to me.  Our favorites are The Wiggles and Brainy Baby.  Now we have several songs and dances we like to do together!
- Cheap works-almost-every-time outdoor toys -- sand/water table with bubbles.  Spray bottle.  Pink broom/dust bin.  Sidewalk chalk.  Watering pail.  My mom used to tell me to go "paint the sidewalk" and it always did the trick!
- When (before) all else fails, play with your toddler! -- I have found that when I play with Eva for awhile, she loves it, then she gets tired of me, and then she wants to play by herself.  Cooking and cleaning can usually wait for awhile, and it's worth it when she finally decides to play by herself.  Plus, I always feel better about myself and my relationships when I spend some quality one-on-one time with my little girls, even if I'm in the middle of making dinner.


new baby:
-  portable bouncer -- best $12 we ever spent!  It's so nice to be able to put the baby down in a safe, comfortable seat at a moment's notice, especially when there is another baby running around the house who often needs immediate attention.  We use the bouncer all the time.  Ours has a vibrating option and some hanging toys that the baby loves.  Sometimes it's the only place I can put her down where she will actually stay asleep.
-  find a pacifier that works -- if at first you don't succeed, try try again.


mommy rejuvination:
-  If you can, make one room in the house completely off limits --  It's so nice to have a place that you don't have to worry about child proofing. Use a child proof door knob and a baby gate if necessary.  I use both.  My bedroom is my sanctuary because it actually stays as clean or as messy as I want it.
-  Give yourself some time at the start of the day -- Even if it's just 5 minutes.  I like to make the bed, put on clothes, brush my hair, and wash my face before I go get the kids out of bed.  I'm less likely to be impatient with my kids because I'm not preoccupied with getting away to take care of myself.


fashion:
- French braids :)

- Knit tops that don't require an under shirt + a flowy, knee-length skirt -- It's always a cute combination!  This makes it easy to stay cool on a hot summer day, and that by itself makes me a nicer mom.  It's also easy to pick an outfit, nurse a baby, and change clothes in case of a mess.

- Long skirts for church --  Thankfully, they're back in style!  Long skirts means you don't have to shave your legs or wear pantyhose. Hallelujah!

what to do when you're at the end of you're rope:
- As a very wise person once told me (or rather, my very wise mother often tells me), "learn to fuzz your brain".  I think it's her way of saying be OK with letting go of control and stress for awhile.  Just ignore it. Honestly, I didn't understand "fuzz your brain" when she first told me many years ago.  But now that I'm a mom, it is some of the best advice she has ever given me.
- Remember that someday the kids will grow up, and you will look back on these days with fondness.  Here is what Thomas S. Monson has to say on this topic:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” ³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."  - Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy in the Journey, October 2008 General Conference 

battling the blues:
- take a long bath
- eat a hamburger and a big side of vegetables (red meat has iron and veggies are great anti-inflamatory foods  --  great for an energy boost and feeling good about yourself) or a big green smoothie with spinach, orange juice and your favorite frozen fruits.
- take a nap in the sun, or go for a walk (alone) and sit on a sunny bench for awhile.

Alysa's 5 Musical Tips

My friend Alysa is pretty darn cool.  She is the mother of 2 sweet boys.  She's well read and blogs about her favorite books at everead.blogspot.com.  She hosts an interactive music class for kids every week called Kindermusik (and the kids love it!)  And she's the kind of person you love to hang out with on girl's night because brings out your silly side while holding a real conversation.  One of my favorite moments with Alysa was when we were in a playroom together watching our kids go crazy.  When her younger son started fussing, she took him on an elaborate and exciting tour of the tiny room (a 10'x10' square).  I was intrigued by it!  She was making everything up on the fly (her description of the slide was an old mansion built in the 1920's for wealthy cowboys... or something like that) and I loved how she took something so ordinary and made it exciting everyone, herself included.  I could definitely use some help making ordinary days a bit more exciting.  

I was trilled when I read her tips on making music a part of everyday family life.  Speaking from personal experience with music, I would LOVE it if my children learned to appreciate music from the hearth at a young age.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!  

Five Tips for Using Music to Make Life Easier

Hello, all! Emily asked me to post about how to get your little kids involved in music. Of course the first thing I thought of was that they could take a music class from me, but that is hardly practical advice for everyone who will see this. So, no matter where you live, here are my five tips (with bonus Pro tip and music recommendations)!

1. Signal Songs

In our house, we pray as a family at least four times a day. When we had only one child, we could just snatch him up and help him still his hands for the prayer. With two mobile now, we've resorted to a song for our signal. 

When you use a song as a signal, it gives your kids time to do what you're asking of them.  Instead of repeating, "Come to the table. Sit down. Fold your arms," we sing our song and it means all of those things. We don't have to repeat ourselves because we're saying all of that the whole time we sing. For the first few weeks, Jacob would invite someone to say the prayer immediately after our song ended, regardless of where the kids were. This showed them we were serious and the prayer was going to happen right after the song. Now, they're almost always ready by the time the song is done.

Another signal song I use (though not as frequently) is a folk song "Come, Follow" that I learned by teaching Kindermusik. It gets us out the door or all walking on our way somewhere. At a family reunion a few years ago I learned a signal song my great-grandmother had used for getting up in the morning. You could have a signal song for climbing into bed, buckling your seat belt, clearing your plate, or whatever you need. The possibilities are endless.

2. Extender Songs

There are times when my toddler has asked for a drink of water and as I stand to go get the cup, find the lid, make sure the water's not boiling out of the faucet and so forth, he is repeating at an increasing speed and pitch, "Drinkwater! DRINKwater!" It can be annoying, to say the least. 

This is when I sing The Patience Song. Jacob brought this song to our parenting from his own childhood experience. It tells my son "even though I'm turning my back, I still remember when you asked me to do. I'm going right now to do it. When I'm done singing, you will have your drink." I don't have to keep up a constant stream of chatter, or hear "drinkwater" incessantly. 

I also sing a song while changing diapers. When you're halfway through and you just need a few more seconds to finish up, it can be tempting to take a harsh tone. But everyone is so much happier when the shocking thing you do to make the baby look is not yelling but singing. We made up a diaper song with our older son and it has been great fun. It always starts the same way, but on the last line we just say whatever comes to mind. This makes it easy to make it just one second longer if need be. 

Pro tip: When you use a song as an extender, time your beginning so that when the song ends unpleasantness also ends. If your song is done and they are still waiting, the song will lose its power.  

3. Scaffolding with music

When kids are just learning all the noises they can make, sometimes they pick the most annoying ones to repeat. Over and over and over. Yes, a fire truck says wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh but it usually drives away as it does. Not the case for a toddler who wants to play in the same room as mom. I've found to say, "change that" is better than saying "stop that."

I like to find the musical principles in what the child is doing (such as high or low voice, loud or soft voice, steady beat and repetition) then ask him to change just slightly. "Ooh, fire trucks also honk now and then! Try that! Wee-oh-wee-oh baah baah!" or "You're making your voice is so high! Now can you say the same thing with your voice down lowwww?" It changes things just enough that my brain isn't about to explode anymore and it has the added bonus of teaching kids more about music. 

Teaching kids in this way -- stepping in briefly to suggest a small modification -- is called scaffolding and it is fantastic. 

4. Improving literacy with music 

I don't know about you, but I make up songs all the time. Especially when I'm tired. My brain just switches into song-mode. I've been known to sing entire conversations. It's like my brain is kaput and in order to do anything it has to have music to help it along. You've probably already heard that music is great for our brains.

Songs stand out and help us remember things. Try making up a song to teach your little one a new word, or to answer your child when he asks a question that he has asked before. 

Songs help us divide words into chunks. Typical songs have one note per syllable, and the ability to divide words into syllables is an indicator of reading readiness. Rhyming (common in song) is also helpful when learning to read and write. 

5. Mood enhancement through music 

Often, Jacob will come home from work and turn on music. It is like magic: we will all get a second wind and have energy to make dinner and clean up. (And why didn't I think of this earlier? I will say to myself.)  At night, we calm down with music, singing songs to the boys once they're tucked in -- and we've had to cap it at three otherwise we're in there all night. These nighttime songs are almost signal songs, since they tell the boys to settle in for the night, but they change nightly.

When my son started preschool, we carpooled with an adorable little boy. About halfway through our first ride he asked me to turn on some "kids' music." I love listening to music while I drive; and in our car the driver gets to choose the music. "This is kid music," I said. In my opinion, any wholesome music is kids music, and there is no bad language or thematically inappropriate content in any music I listen to. Ergo, my kids listen to what I like. I'm sure as they grow they'll introduce me to new things, but for now, we listen to the music mom and dad love. I don't buy low-quality, oversimplified, annoying "kids' music" that I don't want to listen to. 

That said, here are three albums marketed as kids albums that Jacob and I love: 

• Laura Viers' Tumblebee, 
• Medeski Martin & Wood's Let's Go Everywhere, 
• The Barenaked Ladies' Snacktime. 

What do you think? Is there a tip you would add to this list? Which of these are you most likely to try? And seriously, if you're looking for a music class for a babe age 0-5, email me at alysastewart@gmail.com