I have been thinking a lot about parenting and what I hope people get out of this blog. I want this to be a place for moms to come to find ideas and feel appreciated. I want this to be uplifting and never discouraging. I want this to be a source of clarity and stress-relief. Because of these goals, I think I'll re-focus my structure. Originally I wanted to have a theme for every month and focus every post on that theme. Now that this blog is up and running, I find that I would rather go with the flow because I so enjoy learning about everyone's individual approaches to parenting.
So let's scrap the "theme" idea and just have a good old-fashioned discussion!
On that note, let's talk about schedules. If I were to describe myself and my approach to parenting/homemaking, I would say I'm pretty relaxed. Some things are just not worth stressing over (especially when you have little kids). In fact, the idea of giving myself deadlines in parenting/homemaking stresses me out! It frustrates me when I don't get something done that I had every intention of accomplishing... just because life got in the way.
So instead of giving myself a schedule, I decided to give myself a general daily routine and to-do list. It includes things like exercising, going to the store, putting kids down for naps, taking a shower, making dinner, etc. It seems to work pretty well for me. But the routine is basically the same for every day. And because I try to hit all the big things on my to-do list, all the little things that need to get done start stressing me out. Things like sweeping the floor, folding the laundry, doing the dishes, playing with my kids etc. I try to fit them in whenever I have a moment of downtime... which sometimes NEVER happens. And since it's impossible to do everything during nap time which sometimes doesn't happen, I start getting stressed.
Then I decided to set a day for doing laundry -- Wednesday -- so that every time I start stressing out over laundry I can tell myself "It's OK, I'll do it on Wednesday. I can worry about something else right now." And so far, it's working pretty darn well. Who knew that making a schedule and setting a deadline could actually reduce stress instead of increase it? (probably everyone but me, but I finally figured it out for myself).
So I'm trying a new approach. I think I need a schedule, even though that word scares me a little bit. But I can't make it too detailed or else I'll start getting frustrated when my kids don't let ME get the things I WANT to get done (see how silly and selfish it sounds? My goal in making a schedule is to take care of my kids in an organized manner... this should reduce stress to I can be a better parent... not give me another excuse to be stressed and selfish!)
I want a few days a week when I don't have to worry about cleaning and/or cooking. I want a day when I can completely ignore house work to read a book or play with my kids. I don't want to go grocery shopping more than once a week. Some things you just have to do every day (dishes) but it doesn't mean you have to stress out about it. I'm slowly learning to ignore certain things so I can do more important things (yes, I think it is a skill to know when and how to ignore things, even if it's house work!) For example, I am learning to ignore the dishes in the sink until after the girls are in bed. No big deal!
So here it is (tentatively). I did not include my personal daily routine things (like nap time), just my "to-do-at-home" things:
Monday -- grocery shop. cook and freeze left overs
Tuesday -- kitchen. sweep/mop. vacuum. Eat freezer meal.
Wednesday -- laundry. organize. playgroups. cook? baths.
Thursday -- kitchen. bathrooms. Eat freezer meal. Mom/Dad night out (for visiting/home teaching, girl's night, church meetings etc)
Friday -- sweep. mop. organize. Free time for reading. Date night?
Saturday -- play with dad day. take out trash. vacuum. baths.
Sunday -- rest.
I have a feeling this will change a lot over the next few weeks, but it's such a relief to have a starting point.
What is your approach to house work and play time? How do you prioritize what needs to get done and when? How do you get your kids to help out?
I think we're much alike! I haven't set myself a schedule this deliberately, but I do have grocery shopping Tuesday morning and mom's night out Tuesday night. Plus of course Kindermusik Friday mornings and other things that fill in there. I like the big picture scheduling.
ReplyDeleteI like the "Fly Lady" routines. They don't always work perfectly for me, but I adjust them to fit more into my desires of what is to be done. The Wednesday one is perhaps my favorite because it gives me permission to throw out the leftover fridge food in tupperware containers. If I start to stress that my fridge is looking over packed on say, Sunday, I can tell myself that it will be tidy again on Wednesday. The same goes for the laundry room. It will get picked up on Friday. Take a look at Flylady.net
ReplyDeleteLove the blog! It's super cute. The only thing I have been pretty consistent on is laundry day. Other than that, I say, as long as the bathrooms, mopping, dusting, and vacuuming get done once a week (maybe on different days or the same day depending on how much time I have), things are good. That day might change or adjust because of other activities in the week but I'm ok with that. In Provo, I used to have my laundry day and clean house day on the same day, which was awesome bc it meant I could play pretty much the rest of the week and only worry about dishes. But that was when Ivy was taking two consistently loong naps every day. Not so much anymore so I just try to get things done when I can (And I'm slowly learning how to clean and do things while she is awake lol).
ReplyDeleteAs far as Ivy goes, I try to do one productive thing every day with her besides playing with her toys/books. When I say productive, that includes anything from swimming in her baby pool (nice bc then I dont have to go swimming with her, just sit next to her and read haha).. Or we do sidewalk chalk, or play with a ball or bubbles outside. Sometimes we have a play date at the park.. And I also include running errands in that as well. If we run some errands before her afternoon nap, that's usually our something productive for the day, haha.. So that's usually our week in a nutshell. Friday and Saturday afternoon/evenings are spent with dad and Sundays are nice but usually end up being a nightmare bc church is hard with Ivy's age. Good luck finding what works for you and your girls! I'm sure my days will be a lot different when there is a second kid here.