To moms of one or two children

My genius husband hooked me up with yet another great article!  Read it here. This article has given me the boost I need to love my kids a little more every day, by reminding the right perspective on parenting: letting go and trusting our Heavenly Father.

My favorite passage from this article:

I need God more.

I need Him in the morning. At noon. And at night. I need Him to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night. I need Him to calm my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2am. I need Him to keep my children safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes and crossing a parking lot means holding on tight but it also means letting go of "I can do this, I can do this" and trading it for "God, You are with me and You love them, too."

I need His patience. 
I need His joy.
I need His love.

I liked this too much not to share...

To Parents of Small Children

I have been thinking a lot about this very topic lately.  I especially like how he encourages parents to stop comparing themselves to the people who write how-to-be the-perfect-parent blogs.  I plan to write a lot more about this topic very soon (the title will be "The Iron Rod does NOT go through the Great and Spacious Building"), but for now I want to remind those who feel desperately inadequate because of the many mommy blogs out there (or facebook, pinterest, magazines, TV, novels etc) that these sources are NOT gospel truths.   They are personal opinions and experiences. Period.

What is truth?  Scriptures, patriarchal blessings, spiritual affirmations, general conference talks, direction from priesthood authorities, and family relationships.

The reason why I feel so strongly about this is because I also struggle with comparing myself to others, especially when it comes to parenting.  I think everyone does to a certain extent.  The good thing is that if you're struggle with comparing, it probably means you really care about your kids.  A LOT.  Which is the most important thing in parenting anyway :)

Amanda

Amanda and I go way back.  We knew each other before having babies, before college graduation, and even before marrying our husbands.  She was one of the first people I told when Jeff and I started dating seriously.  I have seen Amanda during some of the happiest times of her life, and also durring some of the hardest moments of her life.  And yet, through thick and thin, her countenance never stops beaming her testimony and JOY of the gospel.  It is really wonderful to see her example.

Amanda is hard working and a very talented musician.  She makes friends easily and keeps them FOREVER.  She has a fantastic smile that makes you feel like a million bucks.  It doesn't seem fair that even she, as amazing as she is, had to face infertility and then post-partum depression.  It seems like the woes of women never end!  But I love Amanda's perspective on the infinite LOVE motherhood brings.

Something I have loved about writing this blog is recognizing the strengths of real women all around me.  You don't have to be famous or well-known to be deeply admired and loved.  I hope that when people read this blog they feel empowered by recognizing their own strengths a little better and realizing that we can all make a difference in our circle of influence.

Here is what Amanda has to say about her trials with infertility and post-partum depression:

Hello! My name is Amanda. I have been married for 5 1/2 years and have one 9 month old son. What's that you say? You're Mormon and you've been married for nearly 6 years and you only have one kid? Yep. Just one. My husband and I had to go through a few years of infertility treatments and a miscarriage before we were able to get pregnant. And my dad died during that time. It was pretty hard. But it was also a beautiful time. I would not trade those years that I had with just my husband for anything in the entire world.

I think what got me through those years of infertility was adopting the mindset "Just because Heavenly Father is blessing Mary and Susie and Polly with babies doesn't mean there are fewer babies in heaven for me. Babies are not a commodity" and "Life is not a race." Because let's face it: at BYU where everyone is getting married and having babies sometimes life feels like a race. But it isn't. I actually still have to keep telling myself both of those things. Because my kids won't be 2 years apart. I can't plan like that. They will probably be 4 or 5 years apart. But that is okay. Because life isn't a race.

Another thing that really got me through it was finding friends going through it. Because even though you try to stay positive and happy for others there is always a little (or a large) part of you that is sad for yourself because you want to be a mother so badly.

And now I am a mom! Motherhood is one of the greatest blessings in my life. Period. And because I went through infertility I feel like I have a special understanding of just what it is to be blessed with children. It doesn't make you love your children more than someone who doesn't have to struggle through infertility. Saying that is totally unfair. Every mother loves her children and would do anything, even die, for them. It doesn't make you a better mother. You are just as imperfect as everyone else out there. But going through infertility helps you see motherhood in a little bit of a different light.

It has helped me to realize that even the unpleasant things about motherhood are a blessing because it means you have a child. I would rather have vomit and baby poop all over me and have to change my clothes 10 times a day if it meant I could have a child. And I do. (Have a child I mean, I usually don't have to change my clothes 10 times a day :)

But even with the added level of awareness (via infertility) of the enormous blessing that motherhood is, it is still a huge challenge. There are days when I have yelled, literally yelled, at my 9 month old son. And why? Because I am frustrated and tired and loose my temper. Thankfully I can number those times on one hand. But they have happened. There are days when I long for some me time and I am counting down the minutes until bedtime. My son is going through this screeching phase right now. It is earsplitting. And I don't know what to do!! I want to stop it but how in the world do you discipline a baby? 

I also worry. I worry that in some way I am going to screw up his life or screw up our relationship. Because I just want to be a good mom. And I just want him to know that I love him and would do anything for him. But what if I give him issues? Those are thoughts that run through my head almost on a daily basis.

All that being said, the most difficult aspect of motherhood so far (and by far) was suffering through postpartum depression. Here I was. A new mom. 2 weeks in. And I was crying uncontrollably at the most random times. I was exhausted. I wasn't bonding to my baby. I was a total recluse. I avoided everyone. I avoided the people who brought me meals. It was rough. But here is the clincher. Here is how I knew it was more than just the baby blues or something that would pass on its own: I wanted to hurt my baby. I wanted to shake him and make him sleep and stop crying. I didn't. I had enough self control that I didn't do that. But I wanted to. And it scared me so badly that I called my doctor just bawling my eyes out. In the midst of my uncontrollable crying they comforted me and prescribed me an anti-depressant. Which I took for 4 months. I tried to stop at 2. But all the old feelings started coming back. So I got back on and they magically (or mercifully...) disappeared.

The anti-depressant was my salvation. As soon as it kicked in (about a week after I started taking it) suddenly my life was amazing. Even though my nights were sleepless still and I was still exhausted I couldn't get enough of my baby. I just treasured every. single. moment. Motherhood suddenly became the wonderful thing I heard it was. It was better than I ever dreamed possible. Eventually I weaned myself off the anti-depressant and started exercising regularly. Motherhood still feels awesome-even without medicine now :)

The greatest blessing of motherhood has been the exponential amount of love that has abounded in my life since the birth of my child. I feel this incredible amount of love for him. I feel a closer bond with my husband. I love my mother in a new and deeper way. When I rock my little child I imagine my own mother doing the same for me and my heart wells up with gratitude and a new love and appreciation for her. But most of all my relationship with my Heavenly Father has changed. How must he love me if I love like this? So I would say the greatest blessing of motherhood is the love that has abounded in my life. 

A truly memorable moment was when my boy was about seven weeks old. He was just starting to smile. I had my glasses off and was holding him close to my face. He was smiling at me and I thought we were just bonding and having this beautiful experience together when suddenly *bleh*. He vomited (projectile) all over my face: in my eyes, nose, mouth. I was dripping. And I just started to laugh. Because at a moment like that you can either laugh or cry. So I laughed. It was awesome. 

I feel like becoming a mother is something I do every day. Because even though you do become a mother in an instant (when the baby is born) becoming a true mother in every sense of the word is something that happens slowly. Each dad that passes I learn to love more, be more patient, and be less selfish. Some days are better than others. But motherhood is something that is growing on me. 

I think the absolute most important lesson I have learned from motherhood so far has been patience. I wrote a whole blog post on it: http://beilijagimene.blogspot.com/2012/12/patience.html. Though I waded through infertility for several years before I became a mother I believe that part of the reason was for me to learn patience. Infertility gave my patience- a great deal of it. A great deal more than I had ever had in my life. My loving Heavenly Father knows what a great deal of patience it takes to be a mother. And he knew I didn't have enough to even get started. So he blessed me with infertility to get me on the path and to teach me enough to get by for the first little while. But my patience has grown in spades since my son was born. 

Advice for a new mom? Get out. Make friends. Schedule at least one outing a week to go and visit a friend. Invite her to come to you or go to her. Make play dates. It doesn't matter if your baby is only an 8 week old blob. The play date is not for him/her. It is for you. You need a supportive network of mothers with whom you are in contact regularly-- in real life too. Facebook doesn't count. 

More advice: Find a babysitter. As soon as you can get someone to watch your kid. Our first date was when Austin was six weeks old. If you're nursing pump off some breast milk or give the kid a bottle. But go out! You and your husband need time together away from the baby and away from the house. Don't forget about that relationship!

Last bit of advice: Don't worry about what the books/other moms tell you. Your child is unique and you have what it takes to be the mom for that child! That is why they are with you and no one else! Trust your instincts. You will know what is best. Go ahead and read books (My bible is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). Get advice. But take it all with a grain of salt and adjust it to suit your own needs and personal circumstances. There is no one right way to be a mom. There is no one perfect method. Just trust yourself. You can do this. You can get through it. You had a baby! You are strong.

Being "Good Enough"

I loved reading this article.  There is something special about accepting yourself and your children as "good enough".  In fact, the act of this acceptance actually makes you a better parent!  Letting go of "perfection" allows us to focus on the really important things... which are always simple. 

 I hope you enjoy this article from SW Parents as much I as did.

"Sometimes – and the dark, cold, cooped-up days of January are just such times – it seems that we can’t get this parenting thing right. Our kids fight us and each other, they defy our orders and all logic, and they seem to be moving backwards as much as moving ahead.

At times like these, it’s helpful to imagine what it takes to be “good enough.” Not spectacular. Not amazing. Just good enough.

The human race has been around for a long, long time and most people have turned out okay. This should be a clue that being “good enough” as a parent isn’t all that complicated. And it’s not. Study after study after study has shown that to become capable, competent, well-adjusted citizens, most children need just a few simple things.

Kids need to know they’re loved and appreciated. This isn’t very difficult to do, but often we forget how important this is. Stop and tell your children that you love them dearly, at least once every day.

Kids need to know you have confidence in them. Here again, it’s easy to try to make our kids perfect instead of recognizing that they’re a work-in-progress. Actually, we’re all a work-in-progress. We all make mistakes and have to redo things. Let your children know that you know they will eventually succeed.

Kids need to know that you’re there to help. You may not have all the answers. In fact, it’s certain that you don’t. But you do have your children’s best interests at heart and no matter what trouble they get into you’re there to lend a hand. Children need to know this with certainty. Do yours?

Kids need to know that there’s always a solution. Children who have a positive attitude and are resilient in the face of setbacks do better in school and grow up to do better in life. Being resourceful and persistent are skills every child needs, and they learn them from you.

There. That’s not too hard. Being “good enough” as a parent has nothing to do with what are sometimes called “the advantages” of life. It’s not about things that money can buy. It’s about the things money can’t buy. Being good enough involves trying to make a real emotional connection with your children without expecting them – or expecting you – to be perfect.

Actions speak louder than words. Acting “good enough” is good enough."  - Dr. Patricia Nan Andersion

Rachel's Tips: Part 1

I have been excited to share this post for a long time.  Rachel is one of my dear friends.  When I first met her, I had a newborn baby and was struggling with my identity as a mom.  Rachel was pregnant with her 2nd boy, had big responsibilities at church, and still managed to serve people around her.  You could tell by looking at her that she is sweet, humble and confident.  I admit that I was intimidated by her goodness.  I wanted to be a mom like her, but I thought "A girl like Rachel would never be friends with a girl like me".  How quickly she resolved that problem!  She now has 2 boys and is expecting a baby girl in December.  What a cute family! 

When I asked her to participate in FB&FM, she took her time to ponder what advice she could offer as a mom.  This is part 1 of what will be several posts, which I am very excited about :).  I have been thinking about this advice for some time now, and it has helped me realize the way I am portraying myself to my kids on a daily basis.  I want my kids to believe that it is my greatest joy to take care of them -- not my greatest burden.  What an important way to establish confidence and emotional stability in their young lives!  I especially like the last few lines: "they hopefully get the message that I am the mom and there isn't anything they can throw at me that I can't calmly deal with." Anyway, enough from me.  Here is what Rachel has to say:

Make my children believe that they are easy to be taken care of

I am the mom who is always seeking advice, or mommy tricks, from other moms so I've had a hard time coming up with something of my own to share. However, after a little thought, I remembered something that helps me keep it together--mentally--when I'm about. To pull. My hair. Out. Because sometimes I am despite how much I love my kids and my job (mothering).

So, on to one of my "french braids and freezer meals".

I try to make my children believe that they are EASY to take care of by believing, myself, that they are easy to take care of. It sounds kind of manipulative but I don't like to think of it that way. It's a frame of mind for me that keeps me sane, and it's a message, I can show through my example, that transfers to my kids and magically--or so it seems--they ARE EASY(er) to take care of. (Whether they are easier or whether it's just my frame of mind, if it makes my life easier and happier, I'll take it.)

Believing and showing my kids that they are easy to take care of can be very hard to do when I've heard the ump-teenth "why?" of the day (my son is 4). Or when I'm trying to make dinner and my boys are under my legs, screaming and crying, and asking for snacks and treats. Or when my son has colored outside of the lines and wants me to print out another Bob the Builder coloring page--the 5th in 10 minutes--because it has to be perfect.

These are examples of times (and they all happened today) that my children do things that frankly annoy me (can I say that?). They're not hurting anyone, and they're not necessarily being disrespectful. They're just being kids. But, at those times I don't feel like responding in the most loving way. I want to respond in a desperate way. I want to roll my eyes, use a frustrated tone, tell them to "Be quiet!" or even beg, "Just give me ten (boo-hoo) minutes!"

Doing those things sends my kids the message that they are HARD to take care of and maybe that I don't really enjoy taking care of them, which is far from the truth, and a message I do not want to send them. At those frustrating times, what I try to do is:

• Catch myself getting annoyed (before I blow up or behave like a child myself).
• Remember that they are just kids and I'm the "mature adult".
• Take a deep breath, smile at them, and calmly offer my help, "What do you need?" 

*At this point my child is usually still frustrated or throwing a tantrum and makes the request in a childish way. Surprise, surprise. Despite my frazzled nerves I stay calm.

• I smile at my child or show empathy (hold, hug, kiss). Do you think they're getting the message that they are easy to take care of/I know what I'm doing?
• I tell myself, "this is easy; I can be the responsible adult".
• My mentality is: I can show him by my example that I can deal calmly with frustrating situations (even if he's the one making this a frustrating situation). 

At this point my response to the request, or the consequence of my child's behavior is determined by the situation and the rules of our house (e.g. I normally wouldn't let my kids have treats or snacks while I'm preparing dinner, even if they do calm down and ask kindly). I use my parental discretion--and you can, too.

But, whatever I do choose to do, I show confidence and love in my decision. That way, even if my kids aren't happy with what I've decided they hopefully get the message that I am the mom and there isn't anything they can throw at me that I can't calmly deal with.

Taking care of them is--becomes--EASY.

From the Editor

Hi friends!  You already know what my top two favorite tricks are (take a look at the title of the blog) but I have a few more up my sleeve.  Here it goes!


entertaining toddlers:
- Rescue Pack -- Before my second daughter was born, I made a "rescue pack" of fun activities for my toddler to play with to give me some time to focus on my new baby.  It has bubbles, playdough, markers, craft sticks, paints, stickers and paper.  It has been very helpful, especially when other kids come over.
- Sing & Dance movies and educational movies --  I know what experts say... no TV under the age of 2 and only half an hour a week after (or something like that).  But I have a hard time saying no to a movie if it helps my daughter learn the alphabet or if she's singing and dancing the whole time the TV is on.  Obviously she isn't just vegging in front of the TV.  She's learning something, and I'm getting something done, so it's worth it to me.  Our favorites are The Wiggles and Brainy Baby.  Now we have several songs and dances we like to do together!
- Cheap works-almost-every-time outdoor toys -- sand/water table with bubbles.  Spray bottle.  Pink broom/dust bin.  Sidewalk chalk.  Watering pail.  My mom used to tell me to go "paint the sidewalk" and it always did the trick!
- When (before) all else fails, play with your toddler! -- I have found that when I play with Eva for awhile, she loves it, then she gets tired of me, and then she wants to play by herself.  Cooking and cleaning can usually wait for awhile, and it's worth it when she finally decides to play by herself.  Plus, I always feel better about myself and my relationships when I spend some quality one-on-one time with my little girls, even if I'm in the middle of making dinner.


new baby:
-  portable bouncer -- best $12 we ever spent!  It's so nice to be able to put the baby down in a safe, comfortable seat at a moment's notice, especially when there is another baby running around the house who often needs immediate attention.  We use the bouncer all the time.  Ours has a vibrating option and some hanging toys that the baby loves.  Sometimes it's the only place I can put her down where she will actually stay asleep.
-  find a pacifier that works -- if at first you don't succeed, try try again.


mommy rejuvination:
-  If you can, make one room in the house completely off limits --  It's so nice to have a place that you don't have to worry about child proofing. Use a child proof door knob and a baby gate if necessary.  I use both.  My bedroom is my sanctuary because it actually stays as clean or as messy as I want it.
-  Give yourself some time at the start of the day -- Even if it's just 5 minutes.  I like to make the bed, put on clothes, brush my hair, and wash my face before I go get the kids out of bed.  I'm less likely to be impatient with my kids because I'm not preoccupied with getting away to take care of myself.


fashion:
- French braids :)

- Knit tops that don't require an under shirt + a flowy, knee-length skirt -- It's always a cute combination!  This makes it easy to stay cool on a hot summer day, and that by itself makes me a nicer mom.  It's also easy to pick an outfit, nurse a baby, and change clothes in case of a mess.

- Long skirts for church --  Thankfully, they're back in style!  Long skirts means you don't have to shave your legs or wear pantyhose. Hallelujah!

what to do when you're at the end of you're rope:
- As a very wise person once told me (or rather, my very wise mother often tells me), "learn to fuzz your brain".  I think it's her way of saying be OK with letting go of control and stress for awhile.  Just ignore it. Honestly, I didn't understand "fuzz your brain" when she first told me many years ago.  But now that I'm a mom, it is some of the best advice she has ever given me.
- Remember that someday the kids will grow up, and you will look back on these days with fondness.  Here is what Thomas S. Monson has to say on this topic:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” ³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."  - Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy in the Journey, October 2008 General Conference 

battling the blues:
- take a long bath
- eat a hamburger and a big side of vegetables (red meat has iron and veggies are great anti-inflamatory foods  --  great for an energy boost and feeling good about yourself) or a big green smoothie with spinach, orange juice and your favorite frozen fruits.
- take a nap in the sun, or go for a walk (alone) and sit on a sunny bench for awhile.

Kellie

I love Kellie.  She has two lovely sons, a busy accountant husband, a new nursing degree (woohoo!! congrats!) and a beautiful countenance.  She's the kind of person that makes you smile just by thinking about her.  That's the kind of person I want to be!  In fact, we like their family so much that we decided to swap children if they end up having another boy and we end up having another girl.  Perfect perfect!  (just kidding... kind of.  Her boys are really cute!!)  I literally laughed out loud at some of her tricks, because they are exactly the kinds of things I need to "let go" a bit.  I especially like her french braid trick at the end ;)  Enjoy!

-As much as I look up to your sister, Jane, for getting up early in the morning to exercise--I just prefer my sleep!  I'm a much better mama after getting a good night's sleep--and I'm not the type to go to bed early either!  So tip #1--get a restful night of sleep!  Your kiddos will thank you!  Confession: My boys are often up before I finally drag myself outta bed--we've taught them to read quietly or watch a show until mama is ready to get up!

-Speaking of exercise, I need it.  Bad!  Not only does it release those fantastic endorphins that can salvage a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day--it offers me a few hours of precious "me" time without feeling guilty because I know the boys are having a swell time in the child care center.  If you don't have a gym membership or a place that offers child care, I highly recommend it!  It has saved my sanity!  Plus the "You have two children?!" comments, that totally boost my self-confidence, are an added bonus!

-Secret stash.  Something for you and something for the kids.  "Boys it's nap/quiet time" is code for "mama needs to eat some cookies that you boys will never know existed." (See my reason for needing exercise?!) A fun little stash for the boys is always a huge hit.  It's not necessarily something sweet all the time, but something that they think is just for them.

-One of my biggest secrets I can't claim, because it was my awesome husb who started it.  Anyway, from the time they were old enough to sass me, instead of him saying, "Don't talk to your mother like that" he says, "don't talk to my wife like that."  Not too long ago, Ethan talked back to me and I overheard Teigan say, "Ethan, that is daddy's wife!  He will be upset if mom tells him!"  Haha!  I especially think this is important to teach your sons, but obviously daughters need to hear this, too!

-M&M's.  I don't discriminate which kind.  Any and all.  They make me nice.

- Because my boys are older, I keep cut up fruit, yogurt, cheese sticks and nuts in the fridge conveniently located at their height.  They love the indepence of being able to grab themselves a quick snack, and it saves me the time of having to do it "right this minute."

-Never underestimate the power of movie time and popcorn with your littles!  When I can tell it's just gonna be one of those days, I pop up some popcorn, lay out a blanket in the living room, let the boys pick a movie and life is suddenly back on track :)

-Like other moms have said, WEAR YOUR CHILDREN OUT during the day!  Makes bedtime a breeze!

-Let your kids DO things!  There have been so many times it would be easier/faster to do myself--but seeing the look on E's face after cracking an egg (even if I have to pick out eggshells from the batter!) is priceless.  And hey, they have to learn those things at some point anyway.  Plus, then they learn how to work.  My boys have been cleaning toilets and dust busting since they were 2 and they love to help me "clean."  This is one of my FAVORITE tips!

-For a cute look in ZERO time, french braid your hair while wet the night before.  Take it out in the morning for fabulous waves! (make sure hair is mostly dry before undoing).


-One more awesome tip: my boys take turns each night cleaning their bathroom. It just so happens one was born on an odd day and the other an even day so if it's an even day it's Teig's turn and Ethan gets odd days (bummer for Ethan on those 31st to 1st months :)) anyway, I keep Clorox wipes and mr clean mirror wipes under their sink and every night before bed they have to clean their own bathroom. I can't even remember the last time I cleaned their bathroom and it always looks spotless! And one less bathroom to clean is sure a time saver!

Living in the Big Apple

Meet Tessa Egan.  She's a mother of two living in a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan.  Yes, you read that right.  1 bedroom, 4 people, living in the heart of New York City!  What an adventure!  I love reading her blog because I'm always amazed by the ways she makes home life happy and functional.  I remember when she first moved to NY.  They had to replace their only car with a nice double stroller and get rid of most of their possessions just to fit in their new apartment.  She now takes the subway to get to and from the grocery store (and everywhere else for that matter.)  Her pace of life is just so different from mine.  And yet, amongst all the hustle and bustle of a big city, she manages to see the beautiful and uplifting details in life.  I'm just so impressed with her.

Out of necessity, she has found lots of tricks to streamline family living.   Here is what she has to say:


The snack bag (I use an insulated lunch bag): Very important in NYC. I pack it every morning with a variety of snacks, and usually some PB&Js if we're not going to be home in time for lunch. I just toss it in the stroller basket and keep it there. We're always on the go, so it really helps to be able to just pull stuff out when the kids are hungry. And when we spend the morning at the park and the kids have already eaten their PB&Js as well, that means, I get to put them straight down for their afternoon nap when we get home. Also, I always keep a last resort treat snack in the stroller (for when the kids break down on the subway), maybe not the best parenting idea, but by that point, I'm just trying to survive.

Packing a stroller: I have to make sure I have everything ready to go in the stroller so I am prepared for whatever comes our way on our little adventures. In the summertime I keep a gallon-size Ziploc with swim shorts for the boys, sunscreen, and mini towel for the park, and usually sand shovels and stuff. In the wintertime, I pack extra gloves, scarves, hats, and usually the stroller gets filled up as we shed layers throughout the day. I always have a water bottle, my wallet, sunscreen, lotion, hand sanitizer on a key ring, the snack bag, a diaper clutch with fresh diaper and wipes, and band aids. I bought a stroller handle organizer so I don't have to carry a purse around with me and so I can grab what I need quickly.

Keeping kids entertained in a tiny apartment: Still trying to figure this one out. What has worked so far: I have a drawer of art supplies that Joseph and Dan love to go to and experiment with. I keep it at kid-level so they can access it when they feel like it (therefore I do not include markers, adult scissors, finger paints, or anything that would need more adult supervision). Joseph loves Crayola crayons, watercolors, paint with water books, playdough, gluesticks and child scissors. And Dan will usually do what Joseph does, but not for as long. During Dan's morning nap, Joseph gets some computer time if he's been good. He gets to play preschool games on PBSkids or Disney online.  
Keeping clutter at bay/saving money: De-cluttering seriously feels great and relieves a lot of stress for me, even though it does take a little time. But it's well worth it. It feels so good to have a few less things in your space that weren't very useful anyway. When we were moving, my rule was to get rid of everything we hadn't used in the last few months (some exceptions of course like sewing machines, personal treasures, files, etc). And honestly, I can't remember what most of those things were. Now we live in such a tiny space that my trick before I buy something is to think in my head of exactly where I'm going to put it. If I can't think of a place and it's not worth making a place for, I don't buy it.
And if I buy an item of clothing for me, I usually switch out something I don't wear any more and give it away. I periodically go through my closet and grade my clothes. The A's get to stay. The B's, I can think about keeping. The C's and D's and F's (as far as how much I like them, or how l look in them) definitely have to go. Then it's not as hard to get dressed in the morning because there aren't too many clothes to go through and when you put something on it will usually look great.  I once heard a rule to follow when shopping (I don't remember where I heard it), but now I use it a lot: If you don't NEED it AND you don't LOVE it...definitely don't buy it. If I'm buying something I don't need, I try to only get it if I can give it a grade of 100%. Or else I'll just end up getting rid of it later:)

Other decluttering tricks:
When I'm sick of a toy, I get rid of it. Sometimes I notice that for the last few weeks I've been stubbing my toe on the same old thing that gets played with for 3 minutes, so out it goes. Sure, there are a few toys that I wish maybe I'd have kept, but usually I don't notice, and then we're left with toys that we really like.
I do make room for children's books.
I limit sheet sets, towels, cleaning supplies, tablecloths, dishes, etc to what we actually USE, because we just don't have room for more. BUT, I do wish I could have room for more:)



Little tricks that I don't really realize I do:

Put my exercise clothes and shoes right by my bed at night so it's that much easier to get dressed and run out the door for exercise in the morning. 

Buy Joseph shoes that he knows how to put on himself. Makes getting out the door so much easier. 

When I'm at the end of my rope: Turn on some fun music or go in another room and close the door for a few minutes while the kids are watching a show. Or if Brandon's home, have him take the kids outside while I clean/cook/eat chocolate all by myself.

When both kids are crying, just get out the door even if they're crying the whole way. Everyone's happier once we get out.

FHE lessons: The Gospel Art Kit is great when we don't have a plan. We let each kid pick a picture and we tell the scripture story.

Pre-mix waffle batter night before for easy breakfast and to add waffles to the snack bag.

Roll cookie dough into balls and put on cookie sheet. Freeze 'til the dough is hard enough and put all of the cookie dough balls in a freezer bag. Pull out how many you need and bake as needed. Easy for last minute dessert/visiting teaching/last minute company coming over.

Keep diaper wipes in the kitchen and bathroom for quick clean-ups.

Wash toilet, mirror, sink in bathroom while the kids are in the tub. Might as well do something useful while I'm keeping an eye on them.

When I have a new baby I like clear shower curtain liners so I can put the baby in the bathroom and still see what's going on while I'm showering.

My favorite mom-rejuvenation trick: When the kids go to bed, it's my time to watch a show, eat a big bowl of fruit, and a piece of dessert. I'm happy to have Brandon join me.

(a note from Emily) Alone time:  her husband takes the kids every Saturday so she can have some time to herself to explore the city or get things done.  Brilliant and necessary!**