I love this article from SW Parents.
It has helped me rethink how I approach my two-year-old's behavior. We have been struggling with independence and stubbornness lately, and so my natural reaction is to put my foot down and say "No! I'm the mom so I get to make all the decisions!" In essence, I'm giving her the perfect example of a stubborn, independence driven temper tantrum. I didn't stop to realize that my child's "misbehavior" is also a form of communication. I should have seen her tantrums as a way of saying "Mom, I'm growing up. I can handle this." And you know what, she can. And you know what else? The "punishments" we have used in the past really don't work very well. It just creates negativity and hurt feelings.
I learned a valuable trick from my sister recently. Instead of nagging her kids to eat their dinner, she cheers them on by saying "Go, Eva, go! You can do it!" Talk about an uplifting dinner routine! Since then, my two-year-old has started cheering us on when we eat all our food. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever! That never would have happened if I had continued threatening my daughter instead of encouraging her.
As a final note, I'm not saying that we should let our kids walk all over us parents. I'm just saying there is a better way than letting yourself get worked up about misbehavior, a lesson I have had to learn over and over again. (I will probably have to learn it many more times before I get the hang of it!) So try encouragement instead of threats. These tricks might work for you:
From SW Parents: