FHE - made easy

This comes from my friend Heather -

"Something I've been using lately with Kailey for personal scripture reading time is the Gospel Art kit book. We take one picture each day and read some of the scriptures that go with each one (for us we've only read the Book of Mormon scriptures and we're reading them out of Kailey's Book of Mormon to make it more personal). Kailey will repeat the words of a scripture after me so she feels like she is reading them too. Then we talk about the scripture and picture. I've only done it for a week, but I've actually enjoyed doing it and look forward to the time to read scriptures with her and talk about the pictures. I like that the scriptures and pictures are already chosen (no prep work for me...whew...one less thing to worry about and just go with the flow). It's nice that there is something to look at to keep her focused and the thought/discussion is short. We also sing a song first, pray, read/discuss, sing, and pray. It gives us a chance to also practice our children's songs. I'm in the process of trying out some activities I want to do if I decide to homeschool. This is one of those things I want to continue and as she gets older, the lessons will be longer. I call it her "seminary" time. And as I homeschool, I do want her to have "seminary" time each day where she is focusing on learning about the gospel besides other educational pursuits. I think it helps me and it helps her. I just wanted to post how helpful the Gospel Art kit book can be for personal scripture reading with a child or maybe even for a family home evening lesson."


I thought this was such a good idea that I started doing some of my own research.  I went to LDS.org and found some great links, like this one that lets you browse pictures by topic, and this one that has the pictures labeled in chronological order.  

You can buy the Gospel Art Kit at a distribution center for $3.50.

There is also a Gospel Art Kit app for your smart phone or tablet!  $1.99 buys you access to 600 pages of gospel related pictures.  What a great way to provide uplifting spiritual nourishment for your family!

Choosing to Indulge in the Everyday - Marie

This is a post from my friend, Marie.  What I admire so much about her is that she is smart and capable and dedicated.  She is the kind of person that can simply stick to a decision no matter the difficulty (well, at least it seems that way to me).  With her strength of character, she has the ability to be powerful in the world.  And yet she chooses to be powerful in her family instead.  I have no doubt that Proverbs 31:28 will be her description:  "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her".   Her kids will be so grateful for her skills and for making the sacrifice to be their special mom instead of being a "powerful woman" in the eyes of the world.  She is unselfish and Christlike and very admirable.  I want to be more like Marie.  

Here are her words about choosing to "indulge" in the greatest joy we can find as mothers, our kids -- 

Carpet lines. If you're wondering what the first picture is supposed to be of that is your answer. I love carpet lines--the lines created in certain types of carpet after you vacuum. When I was younger and as I grew older, I realized that I wanted carpet lines. 

The carpet in my house growing up was not conducive to carpet lines. It was bumpy and green. If you've seen Toy Story, you've seen the carpet I grew up with. You might not have realized you saw it, but you did. Now go think back and remember Sid's room. Remember when Buzz and Woody are coming out of the backpack and there are all the reconstructed toys. Can't remember? Just google search "toy story sid's room" and you can see images. Well, Sid's carpet was our carpet.

Now, I'm not saying I was deprived as a child. I remember liking our bumpy, green carpet because it made nice "bushes" for my toy animals to eat. But what I am saying is that that carpet couldn't have carpet lines and that when I finished vacuuming I wanted those perfect lines to appear. Those lines that say, "Look at this lovely freshly-vacuumed floor." I don't know why, but I just knew that if I could have carpet lines vacuuming would be better. And you know what? I was right. For me, creating vacuum lines makes me feel happy and in some weird way accomplished. Vacuum lines are one of those simple pleasures that make doing those "have-to-do" things enjoyable.

You may also notice in that top picture that those carpet lines are just not right. There are itty bitty footprints in those carpet lines! If those footprints made me angry, I would say that they mar those perfect lines. Thankfully, for my sanity would surely be lost, those footprints make me happy. They are another simple pleasure (and complicated pleasure certainly). 

Look at the cute little feet and pudgy legs that made those footprints!

Aren't they just the cutest?!? These feet and legs belong to the smallest love of my life and he is constantly leaving marks all over. Special touches and dashes of light. Messes I will miss because he no longer wants to spend his time near me or he is "too big" to make them anymore. I'll enjoy the piles of books he asks me to read while he still asks me to read them. I'll make towers for him to topple while he still needs me to help build them. I'll do my best to enjoy each question and answer it as best as I can. I'll cherish every cuddle even those that are a bit clingy.

Those beautiful feet make perfect footprints that adorn my carpet lines. Those carpet lines accent those footprints, making it so they are noticed, highlighted, showcased. Reminding me of how lucky and blessed I am. Reminding me to appreciate all the moments because I get to experience them. Those footprints are most definitely a simple pleasure--and a huge blessing.

I'll let Owen continue to show you some of the other simple pleasures I enjoy. I absolutely love hearing Owen say and call for "Mommy" and "Mom."

I sure hope he knows that Mommy loves him!

I wondered for awhile whether he knew the word mom. He would say dad so easily and often. All I had to do was say, "Let's go see Dad," and he'd start looking around for and repeating "Da. Da. Da." Every time we come home whether it is from a friend's house or from the store, Owen starts repeating "Dad" as we get out of the car, walk up the stairs and get inside the house. He's asking if Dad is home; no matter what I respond, he will keep asking and look expectantly for Dad when we enter.

The first time I remember him really saying "Mom" was when he called me from the other room. I'd left him in his highchair with food I knew he wouldn't choke on, so I could go to the bathroom. Moments after I left, I heard him calling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" I was so excited! There was proof that he knew the word mom and that he knew mom was me. I need to remember how wonderful it felt to be called as he gets older. I still love it now when he calls for me in our little apartment.

Another simple pleasure of mine is watching Owen read.

Obviously, he isn't reading words yet (though he does a pretty adorable job of it), but he does look at pictures and flip through pages as I've shown before. He loves to be read to and read by himself. I just love watching him pick out a book and read it. When I realize that all those books off the shelf came off because he was reading them, I don't mind so much picking them up again. 

The last simple pleasure I'm going to share today is watching Owen discover the humidifier (and just about any new discovery makes the list). 

Perhaps you noticed my croaky voice in the "mommy loves me" video. Well, I got a minor case of bronchitis which came with a nasty cough. To try and get some sleep, I followed the doctor's suggestion to try a cool mist humidifier at night. When Owen came to wake me up in the morning with his daddy, he discovered it. It became an instant favorite.

I definitely feel like I can't let these moments slip away. It's so easy to feel busy and to be busy. When I try to do too much and take things too fast, I miss these simple pleasures. It's the little things that make life meaningful and fun. The little things forge relationships and bring happiness. I've noticed that on those days when all I want is for nap time to come or Tyler to come home or Owen's bed time to arrive, I'm letting all the moments pass and I'm not happy. I'm waiting for the next day. And then I realize that there isn't anything coming up. All I'm doing is missing everything huge and special because I'm taking it for granted! I'm missing my baby being a toddler. I'm missing this amazing amount of free time, couple time, and family time with Tyler. I'm letting it all go by and not enjoying any of it. I know that later, I'll miss this time and I don't want to have regrets about not taking advantage of this time with Tyler and Owen. I feel like I just have realize it anew every day. If I keep remembering then I can be the wife and mother and woman I want to be. I choose to remember. I choose to indulge in my everyday.

School Lunch - Made Easy

It's October and school is in full swing.  Getting bored of making school lunches yet?  My friend Ashlee submitted this awesome link about making school lunches more fun and more convenient:

lunch box cheat sheet

I love it!  Even though I don't have school-aged kids yet, I still use this cheat sheet from time to time.  I included the list here...

lunch box cheat sheet

Tips

• Place a frozen juice box in your kids’ lunchbox. – it’ll keep the food chilled and will be thawed by lunchtime.
• Go for variety. Make sandwiches using whole grain tortillas, bagels or pitas.
• Pack antibacterial wet wipes so your kids can clean their hands before and after eating.
• Add grated veggies to sandwiches and wraps for crunch – your kids won’t notice they’re eating something that’s good for them!
• Use small resealable bags to pack dressings. Kids can open one corner and simply squeeze onto salad, then discard.
• Get dipping! Pack salsa, hummus, yogurt or salad dressing for your little ones to dunk their sandwich, veggies or fruit into.
• Make bite-sized and mini versions of regular foods like sandwiches. They work well for small appetites and are more likely to be eaten.
• Add a quick note to say good luck on a test or “I love you” – it will brighten your child’s day.

This is a great list.  Looking back, now I know why mom my mom used to put a frozen juice box and ranch dressing in my lunch.  I loved how my drink turned into a slushy, and dipping my carrots in ranch dressing made me feel pretty cool.

Did you know that kids LIKE hummus?  It's so healthy!  I can get my toddler to eat so many vegetables as longs as I have hummus around (and if we run out of veggies, we eat the hummus with a spoon).  My favorite hummus recipe is this:


Easy Blender Hummus

1 can garbanzo beans (save liquid)

1 clove garlic

2 tsp cumin

1-2 Tbs peanut butter

splash of lemon juice (optional)

Put all ingredients in a blender and turn it on low.  While blending, slowly add saved liquid into the blender until you reach the desired consistency (I use about 2/3 of the liquid).  Serve with bell peppers, carrots, cucumbers, pita chips, cauliflower etc.  


Speaking from personal experience, I love the convenience of disposable resealable bags.  For $2, you can get 100 tidy sandwich bags that can be used for so many things!  I like to put partially used food items (like onions, bananas, avocados etc) in the bags and stick them in the fridge.  Then I re-use the bag if it's still good later.  I'm all about cheap convenience.

Another tip I recently started using (and I'm probably the last mom in the world to try this one) is frozen Go-Gurt.  It turns into a delicious push-up popsicle!  Yeah, it's not the most healthy snack, but it's a perfect treat for a toddler who doesn't know the difference between ice cream and frozen yogurt :)

Be sure to browse the rest of the kraft.com website!  There are lots of ideas about healthy and easy lunch ideas.  Another little gem is this page:

cooking skills by age

Some days you just want your kids out of the kitchen.  But other times it can be enriching to let your kids "help out" a little bit.  And I bet that your kids will remember those special moments when you let them have the extra freedom, even if it means a bit more work for you.  In fact, here is a list of easy recipes your kids will enjoy making and eating:

kids can cook

One last tip.  We recently had to clear out one of our cabinets for a new dishwasher.  Well, the dishwasher didn't happen as punctually as we thought it would, so the empty cabinet naturally became a secret hideout for my 2-year-old.  And it's hilarious.  And it's convenient.  So when I need some space, I can send her to the secret hideout with a little snack and her favorite toy.  Works almost every time.  It has been so fun that I'm almost sad to install the dishwasher.  (Almost.  After all, it's a DISHWASHER.)  I think I'll just empty out a different cabinet so we don't lose the secret hideout when the dishwasher comes in next week :)

What are your favorite lunch time tricks?

It's been awhile...

Please forgive me for being gone for so long.  I think you would understand if you were in my shoes.  One reason for taking such a long break was because I was in the middle of making a huge life-changing decision and simply didn't have the free time to write much (I didn't update my family blog during this time, either, which is a big deal for me).  In the past month and a half, I have gone from thinking I would be a stay-at-home-mom forever to being full-time graduate student.  Yes, I'm going back to school!  Ah!  But more on that decision later.  

The more important reason for my absence is the fact that I feel more content in my job as a mother, so I'm not as driven to seek answers as I was before (you can read my reasons for starting this blog in the tabs above).  This blog has fulfilled a desperate need for me, and for that I am extremely grateful.  It is a beautiful feeling and I want all mothers to feel this way.  That is why I am going to keep going with French Braids & Freezer Meals.  I know that our lives as mothers are constantly changing, and so it is very possible that I will be desperate for answers again next month, or even next week.  It's all about the journey and adjusting our attitudes, perspectives, and practices to help us and our families find that happy medium no matter what situation we're in at the moment.  

Just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean I haven't been collecting valuable information from my vast pool of super-moms, though :)  So stay tuned...

Heather's Words of Wisdom

Meet my friend, Heather.  I'm so glad I met her, and I bet you will be too.  I still remember how excited I was 2 years ago when she knocked on my door and invited me to a little playdate at the park.  My baby was only 2.5 months old, and certainly didn't care if we were playing with other kids or not, but it meant a lot to me!  I was new to the area and new to my role as a mom.  I was so tickled that a more experienced mom thought I was cool enough to come to her playdate.  But that's Heather, for you: finding that person who needs a pick-me-up and being a true friend to them in her gentle, soft-spoken way.  She is the mother of 2 cute kids who we instantly fell in love with.  She is a gifted crochet-er.  She's the kind of mom that makes her childrens' interests her own interests as well.  She goes to great lengths to provide her children the tender love and understanding they need.  Like many moms on this blog, she is a shining example to me of the kind of mom I want to be.  I was very reluctant to say goodbye to my dear friend when they moved to Delaware last summer, but I'm determined to always keep in touch.  True friends like Heather are very hard to come by.  

Heather's words of advice bring up a very important point that I want to keep at the forefront of this blog:  we moms need to SUPPORT each other, and never COMPARE each other.  

The purpose of this blog is not to make anyone feel bad about themselves as a mom.  That's the very last thing I want!  Rather, the purpose of this blog is to help moms find ways to be there best selves and feel good about the things they are already doing.  Maybe that message doesn't come across well enough, but I feel very strongly that that is my goal.  Anyway, Heather expresses herself beautifully, so I'll let you read it yourself:  

I finally got around to reading your blog. I have to admit, I felt discouraged the first time I read it. Maybe it doesn’t help that I know most of the women contributors and I think they are stellar mothers and would love to follow all their advices and have the great outlooks they have and be perfect just like them.  Anyway, after initially reading, I had to step back and tell myself, “I’m a good mother too and these women aren’t perfect”. I don’t have the strengths, backgrounds, experiences, knowledge and interests as some of these other fabulous mothers, but I’m still a good mother and they are too. God has given my children to me for a reason. I know them best and have experiences, backgrounds, knowledge, interests, strengths, (and weaknesses), and interests that they need." Often I find that I compare myself to other moms and often ask myself “Why can’t I be like …… She’s great at this…. Or be like ……..Her home (or family) looks like this (or always does that)……” These thoughts can be debilitating and devastating to my emotional health. I don’t know if other mothers feel like this or have similar thoughts, but I wanted to stress the importance of always improving. There is no one perfect mother. There are zillions of ways to be a great mother. And every mother has the potential to be a great mother. It’s important that we’re always improving ourselves as mothers to be the mothers that God would want us to be. When we first become mothers, we come packaged differently (different family and cultural backgrounds, experiences, mother examples, interests, strengths, etc.). Sometimes some come better fit for the job than others. But I know the importance of taking one step at a time, finding one thing at a time to change and become better at. For example, as a kid, my parents both worked. They were tired. We ate out often. We weren’t a healthy family. But since I’ve been married and have had kids, I’m a much much much healthier eater and so is my family. I take each day at a time. Try a new meal. Try something from scratch. Try out a new vegetable or fruit. Grow some vegetables and fruit and find ways to use them. Use less meat and more beans. Try out a new grain. Try out foods known to be healthier for our bodies.  Drink more water. Eat packaged foods with less sugar or salt. Eat more whole grains.  I’m not near to having the perfect food and diet for my family, but I know I’m working on it and it is blessing my family. I know eating healthy is a strength to some women (maybe given to them from their mothers or interests), but it’s not a strength for me and I can’t compare myself with others in this area. Is isn’t fair to myself. And so I write these comments to remind myself, and maybe other mothers that it’s important to take the good we already do and make it better and to take the not so good and improve it and make it better. AND THIS ALL HAPPENS ONE STEP AT A TIME! One day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time. I know I’m a better mother today than I was a year ago or even a month ago. This improvement is what counts… not what this mother can do better than me or what I can do better than that mother. The improvements we make as mothers bless our families immensely.

I don’t know if this any good advice. When you invited me to try to add something to your blog, I tried hard to think of something. I couldn’t come up with anything. I finally took the time to read what others have posted. I do like their advice and tips. Hope to try a few, one at a time until it actually becomes natural so it’s not overwhelming. Anyway, this is finally my attempt to add. It’s not really a tip, maybe more of a reminder. I did try to start out writing about something I specifically know I try to focus on as a mother, but instead this is what you have. Work with it as you want. If it helps. 

Teaching Kids to Work

Submitted by Ashlee --

This is a chore chart we instituted several weeks ago in response to a truly horrible day.
I had reached a breaking point with uncooperative and lazy attitudes.

The chore chart works thusly: First thing in the morning I write down what chores need to be done. After breakfast the boys must accomplish their list of chores before any play. You will notice there are 3 boxes to check off. This is to address the particular problems we had been experiencing.
The first is to indicate that the chore just plain old got done... I always inspect their work to make sure that things were done properly.
The second is for staying on task (ie. I shouldn't have to tell you to "keep cleaning!" 20,000 times before the job is actually finished. I don't actually enjoy being a nag!)
The third box is for having a good attitude. Any whining, fighting, complaining, eye rolling, huffing or other like behavior is not permitted. You are part of a family. We all contribute to the cleanliness and happiness of this home.
If they get an "O," in any of their boxes I assign an additional chore so that they may try again.

Things have vastly improved since we started doing chores this way.
The boys are great little workers and their help has genuinely helped me keep the house cleaner. I give them chores that actually need to be done!
It's given me the chance to teach them loads of new and necessary skills and I have been surprised by what they are actually capable of accomplishing. They can sort laundry, clean all the different parts of a bathroom, pick up entire rooms, put dishes away, dust, wipe, organize... all kinds of things!
We genuinely have a good time working together each morning, and I am hopeful that they are learning good lessons like: Work before play, etc.

The system has been in place long enough now that it is simply an expectation. We have much, much less push-back when I tell them what they are doing, and they even seem to be proud of the job well done!

OTHER THINGS I HAVE FOUND THAT HAVE HELPED:
*** Listen to Music While you Clean.  It's the "Whistle While You Work," principle.  Everything is easier when you have a song to work to!  It makes the whole house feel different and happier.  I have a Pandora Station with Disney music that they like, CD's with Children's Music, or sometimes I just put on "Mom," Music - making sure I choose something uplifting and peppy.***

***Properly Teach your Children What you Expect.  Showing them how to properly get something done by modeling the chore first, and then staying with them as they do it themselves for the first few times alone is key.  They need to know exactly what is expected of them and how the job is to be done.  This helps prevent future arguing or having to go back and do something again.  It also shows that you care enough to spend time teaching them and helping them succeed.***

***Do Your Own Chores at the Same Time.  I like to be working in other areas of the house when my kids are doing a chore that they have mastered.  I think this shows them a few things.  First, that I trust them in their abilities to accomplish what I assigned.  Second, that I am not asking them to do something that I am not doing myself.  Third, it gives me the opportunity to show them that I enjoy working and getting things done.  I hope my example of working without complaining, enjoying the work, and enjoying my finished product will rub off on them.  How can I expect them to not complain if they see me complaining?***

***Think About What You Hope To Teach Before Setting the System.  You have seen how me and my husband set up our chore system... this may or may not be a good way for YOU to do it.  We had specific problems that we were trying to address and specific things we were trying to teach.  What YOUR goals are should determine how you do it in your home.  IE- Do you pay your children for their chores or not?  Do you set a specific time each day to clean or not?  Do you work all together as a team on one job or do you divide and conquer?... There are no "right," answers to these questions, it's all about what you are hoping to teach.***

***Praise Your Children and Thank Them for a Job Well Done.  Give a hug.  Say "Thank You."  Do a high five.  Admire and praise their work.  Play a game together afterwards.  Do SOMETHING to show them that you appreciate their efforts.  Children have the same needs as adults to feel accepted and appreciated!***

***Split up Bickering/Easily Distracted Kids.  This may sound simple but it took me a minute to figure out!  I have learned that for my 2 boys we are doomed from the get go if they are working together on a task.  They inevitably do one of 2 things: Fight about who is doing the work and who is slacking off.  OR... Forget the job altogether and play.  Having them work on separate tasks in different areas of our home sure helps!

***Stick with it Because IT MATTERS!  Some days no matter what tricks you pull out of your hat it just doesn't go well.  I know sometimes I think "This would be so much easier to just DO MYSELF!!!" But we can't stop.  I want my children to someday be responsible men and contributing fathers.  The only way they will learn is by consistency and love.  When I get tempted to quit I remember this quote by Julie B. Beck from her General Conference Talk "Mother's Who Know.":

"Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.⁵ To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women."

That's what it's all about!

A Story Before Bed.

This experience comes from my sister Jane:

I just put Halle to bed. It is 10:00pm and she is very tired. She asks me so sweetly if I will snuggle her. I consent. She is asleep within minutes.

I leave the room and go back to my desk to fill out a consensus booklet. My private self hates filling out all of this information and sending it to the government, even though they probably already have this information on file. Suddenly, my concentration is broken by Halle shouting, "Mother! Mother! (pause) Mother!"

I return to her room with a smile on my face. I get such a kick out of her grown-up words. She's in her bed. She says, "I was scared. And when I'm scared, I just need some milk." 

I leave, and return again with a small, blue, plastic IKEA cup full of milk. After 2 sips, she hands it back, smiles, and quietly says, "Thank you. That was deli-suss. I love you so much," followed by a big hug around the neck. She is so sweet and sleepy that I can hardly contain my grin. I feel so much love for this little grown-up child.

I ask if I can snuggle some more. She settles in to bed and embraces her Nemo fish (a gift from exactly one year ago). Then her imagination kicks into gear. She says, "My nemo was on my swimsuit, and now he's HERE! in my arms! He was swimming, but now he came back to me. (insert quiet smooch)." It's completely dark in her room, but I can just imagine her eyes shut so tight as she kisses the stuffed Nemo fish in her arms. She lives each moment so genuinely.

Then she POPS up in bed and says, "I forgot the food! My tummy isn't happy. It's still sad and mad. I need pickles and meat and cheese. Then my tummy will be happy."

I guess it's been too long since dinner and she's hungry again. Oh well. She's now sitting next to her father at the kitchen table as he finishes up homework and reading assignments from the first day of the new semester. It's mid-August and unbelievably humid outside. So humid that our windows fog up in the mornings and I'm soaked after a short early morning jog. But despite the heat and the late nights, life is good.

Life is so good.

After a few minutes of snacking and chatting with her father about "land use and planning" (boring!) it is officially time for bed. I climb in next to her one more time and say goodnight. Then she perks up again and says, "No wait! My tummy is still mad. and sad. and crying. forever and ever! And I am crying for you and I will say Mother! Mother! because my tummy is sick.

All the while, she is stroking my cheek and tucking a stray hair behind my ear. Then she pauses and says, "I love you so much." with a kiss on my forehead. 

I ask, "Really?"

"Rilly."

I lay there without moving. Her hand on my wrist. Her breath like a gentle wind on my forehead. And within moments, she is again asleep. 

Heaven is close to my heart tonight.