We can't be friends... or can we?

Loved this article today!

We can't be friends.

She definitely sounds like the kind of mom I want to be friends with, and the kind of friend I want to be to other moms. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?

DINO-vember

You have probably seen this already, but I enjoyed it too much not to share.

This comic literally made me laugh out loud! The silly things parents do to make their kids happy. 

DINO-vember

I want to be this kind of mom. It doesn't cost any money, but it sparks wonder and makes lasting memories. I can't wait to see the look in Eva's eyes when she thinks her Woody Doll actually came to life during the night...

Traveling with Little Ones

We just got back from a LONG trip.  I'm talking 27 days long, with 5 trips to Disneyworld, 4 different states, 3 flights across the country, 2 road trips, 1 night in a hotel, and ZERO nights of good sleep.  And I have two little kids!  Believe me when I say it feels so good to be home.  We had a wonderful time, but there are some things I wish I had done differently to make my life a little easier.

Emily's Tricks for Easy Traveling:

1.  Portable DVD player (or something similar) - I can't tell you how many times this $50 "toy" saved us.  It made the time go by faster during every flight and road trip since my two-year-old was occupied and happy.  I'm not saying she spent 10 hours a day watching movies!  It just helped us avoid some of those ultra stressful moments that naturally occur when traveling :)  I recommend a portable DVD player rather than a tablet because they are sturdier, cheaper, and less important if broken.

2.  Pack LIGHT -- I thought I was packing light this time, but in all honesty, I would have packed HALF as much if I were to do it again.  Here is my recommendation:  fill up half of your suitcase with clothes and the rest with other necessities (toiletries, diapers, blanket, toys, books, curling iron, gifts, whatever).  Only pack enough clothes for 1 week at most (for mom: 5 shirts, 2 pants, a dress, some PJs and 2 pairs of shoes.  for kids: 5 outfits and some PJs) and PLAN on doing laundry frequently.  For me it is much easier to have less STUFF and do laundry often than to have lots of STUFF and have to worry about keeping track of everything.  Less is more.  You don't need every sweater in your closet.  You don't need every bow your daughter owns.  Only bring your very favorites :).

When flying somewhere for Christmas, I recommend packing a small suitcase (carry on) inside a big suitcase (checked bag).  That way you have space to bring home your gifts without spending extra money!

3.  Dry Shampoo -- Look it up.  It's cheap and it's awesome.  Look fresh without spending the time to wash and blow-dry!

4.  Daily Facial Wipes -- Also awesome.  I love these.

5.  Easy-Squeeze Apple Sauce -- Perfect for little kids.  No spoon, no spills, happy healthy kids.  It's a win.

Other tips... wear slip-on shoes to the airport, bring 1 toy per child on the airplane, eat light snacks that will keep you feeling good, and keep your camera close-by to capture those hilarious moments when everything falls apart.


Emily's Traveling DON'Ts:

1.  Don't bring anything on the airplane that you can't quickly stash inside your diaper bag.
2.  Don't leave your house dirty.  You will feel so much better when you come back to a clean house.
3.  Don't forget your two-year-old's socks and shoes on your road trip to snowy Utah.  Like I did.
4.  Don't freak out when everything falls apart.  Because it will.  Just decide to make it a happy family memory (if you can!)

Any other traveling tips?  How did you make it through the busy holiday season in one piece?  

From the Editor

Hi friends!  You already know what my top two favorite tricks are (take a look at the title of the blog) but I have a few more up my sleeve.  Here it goes!


entertaining toddlers:
- Rescue Pack -- Before my second daughter was born, I made a "rescue pack" of fun activities for my toddler to play with to give me some time to focus on my new baby.  It has bubbles, playdough, markers, craft sticks, paints, stickers and paper.  It has been very helpful, especially when other kids come over.
- Sing & Dance movies and educational movies --  I know what experts say... no TV under the age of 2 and only half an hour a week after (or something like that).  But I have a hard time saying no to a movie if it helps my daughter learn the alphabet or if she's singing and dancing the whole time the TV is on.  Obviously she isn't just vegging in front of the TV.  She's learning something, and I'm getting something done, so it's worth it to me.  Our favorites are The Wiggles and Brainy Baby.  Now we have several songs and dances we like to do together!
- Cheap works-almost-every-time outdoor toys -- sand/water table with bubbles.  Spray bottle.  Pink broom/dust bin.  Sidewalk chalk.  Watering pail.  My mom used to tell me to go "paint the sidewalk" and it always did the trick!
- When (before) all else fails, play with your toddler! -- I have found that when I play with Eva for awhile, she loves it, then she gets tired of me, and then she wants to play by herself.  Cooking and cleaning can usually wait for awhile, and it's worth it when she finally decides to play by herself.  Plus, I always feel better about myself and my relationships when I spend some quality one-on-one time with my little girls, even if I'm in the middle of making dinner.


new baby:
-  portable bouncer -- best $12 we ever spent!  It's so nice to be able to put the baby down in a safe, comfortable seat at a moment's notice, especially when there is another baby running around the house who often needs immediate attention.  We use the bouncer all the time.  Ours has a vibrating option and some hanging toys that the baby loves.  Sometimes it's the only place I can put her down where she will actually stay asleep.
-  find a pacifier that works -- if at first you don't succeed, try try again.


mommy rejuvination:
-  If you can, make one room in the house completely off limits --  It's so nice to have a place that you don't have to worry about child proofing. Use a child proof door knob and a baby gate if necessary.  I use both.  My bedroom is my sanctuary because it actually stays as clean or as messy as I want it.
-  Give yourself some time at the start of the day -- Even if it's just 5 minutes.  I like to make the bed, put on clothes, brush my hair, and wash my face before I go get the kids out of bed.  I'm less likely to be impatient with my kids because I'm not preoccupied with getting away to take care of myself.


fashion:
- French braids :)

- Knit tops that don't require an under shirt + a flowy, knee-length skirt -- It's always a cute combination!  This makes it easy to stay cool on a hot summer day, and that by itself makes me a nicer mom.  It's also easy to pick an outfit, nurse a baby, and change clothes in case of a mess.

- Long skirts for church --  Thankfully, they're back in style!  Long skirts means you don't have to shave your legs or wear pantyhose. Hallelujah!

what to do when you're at the end of you're rope:
- As a very wise person once told me (or rather, my very wise mother often tells me), "learn to fuzz your brain".  I think it's her way of saying be OK with letting go of control and stress for awhile.  Just ignore it. Honestly, I didn't understand "fuzz your brain" when she first told me many years ago.  But now that I'm a mom, it is some of the best advice she has ever given me.
- Remember that someday the kids will grow up, and you will look back on these days with fondness.  Here is what Thomas S. Monson has to say on this topic:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” ³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."  - Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy in the Journey, October 2008 General Conference 

battling the blues:
- take a long bath
- eat a hamburger and a big side of vegetables (red meat has iron and veggies are great anti-inflamatory foods  --  great for an energy boost and feeling good about yourself) or a big green smoothie with spinach, orange juice and your favorite frozen fruits.
- take a nap in the sun, or go for a walk (alone) and sit on a sunny bench for awhile.

Alysa's 5 Musical Tips

My friend Alysa is pretty darn cool.  She is the mother of 2 sweet boys.  She's well read and blogs about her favorite books at everead.blogspot.com.  She hosts an interactive music class for kids every week called Kindermusik (and the kids love it!)  And she's the kind of person you love to hang out with on girl's night because brings out your silly side while holding a real conversation.  One of my favorite moments with Alysa was when we were in a playroom together watching our kids go crazy.  When her younger son started fussing, she took him on an elaborate and exciting tour of the tiny room (a 10'x10' square).  I was intrigued by it!  She was making everything up on the fly (her description of the slide was an old mansion built in the 1920's for wealthy cowboys... or something like that) and I loved how she took something so ordinary and made it exciting everyone, herself included.  I could definitely use some help making ordinary days a bit more exciting.  

I was trilled when I read her tips on making music a part of everyday family life.  Speaking from personal experience with music, I would LOVE it if my children learned to appreciate music from the hearth at a young age.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!  

Five Tips for Using Music to Make Life Easier

Hello, all! Emily asked me to post about how to get your little kids involved in music. Of course the first thing I thought of was that they could take a music class from me, but that is hardly practical advice for everyone who will see this. So, no matter where you live, here are my five tips (with bonus Pro tip and music recommendations)!

1. Signal Songs

In our house, we pray as a family at least four times a day. When we had only one child, we could just snatch him up and help him still his hands for the prayer. With two mobile now, we've resorted to a song for our signal. 

When you use a song as a signal, it gives your kids time to do what you're asking of them.  Instead of repeating, "Come to the table. Sit down. Fold your arms," we sing our song and it means all of those things. We don't have to repeat ourselves because we're saying all of that the whole time we sing. For the first few weeks, Jacob would invite someone to say the prayer immediately after our song ended, regardless of where the kids were. This showed them we were serious and the prayer was going to happen right after the song. Now, they're almost always ready by the time the song is done.

Another signal song I use (though not as frequently) is a folk song "Come, Follow" that I learned by teaching Kindermusik. It gets us out the door or all walking on our way somewhere. At a family reunion a few years ago I learned a signal song my great-grandmother had used for getting up in the morning. You could have a signal song for climbing into bed, buckling your seat belt, clearing your plate, or whatever you need. The possibilities are endless.

2. Extender Songs

There are times when my toddler has asked for a drink of water and as I stand to go get the cup, find the lid, make sure the water's not boiling out of the faucet and so forth, he is repeating at an increasing speed and pitch, "Drinkwater! DRINKwater!" It can be annoying, to say the least. 

This is when I sing The Patience Song. Jacob brought this song to our parenting from his own childhood experience. It tells my son "even though I'm turning my back, I still remember when you asked me to do. I'm going right now to do it. When I'm done singing, you will have your drink." I don't have to keep up a constant stream of chatter, or hear "drinkwater" incessantly. 

I also sing a song while changing diapers. When you're halfway through and you just need a few more seconds to finish up, it can be tempting to take a harsh tone. But everyone is so much happier when the shocking thing you do to make the baby look is not yelling but singing. We made up a diaper song with our older son and it has been great fun. It always starts the same way, but on the last line we just say whatever comes to mind. This makes it easy to make it just one second longer if need be. 

Pro tip: When you use a song as an extender, time your beginning so that when the song ends unpleasantness also ends. If your song is done and they are still waiting, the song will lose its power.  

3. Scaffolding with music

When kids are just learning all the noises they can make, sometimes they pick the most annoying ones to repeat. Over and over and over. Yes, a fire truck says wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh but it usually drives away as it does. Not the case for a toddler who wants to play in the same room as mom. I've found to say, "change that" is better than saying "stop that."

I like to find the musical principles in what the child is doing (such as high or low voice, loud or soft voice, steady beat and repetition) then ask him to change just slightly. "Ooh, fire trucks also honk now and then! Try that! Wee-oh-wee-oh baah baah!" or "You're making your voice is so high! Now can you say the same thing with your voice down lowwww?" It changes things just enough that my brain isn't about to explode anymore and it has the added bonus of teaching kids more about music. 

Teaching kids in this way -- stepping in briefly to suggest a small modification -- is called scaffolding and it is fantastic. 

4. Improving literacy with music 

I don't know about you, but I make up songs all the time. Especially when I'm tired. My brain just switches into song-mode. I've been known to sing entire conversations. It's like my brain is kaput and in order to do anything it has to have music to help it along. You've probably already heard that music is great for our brains.

Songs stand out and help us remember things. Try making up a song to teach your little one a new word, or to answer your child when he asks a question that he has asked before. 

Songs help us divide words into chunks. Typical songs have one note per syllable, and the ability to divide words into syllables is an indicator of reading readiness. Rhyming (common in song) is also helpful when learning to read and write. 

5. Mood enhancement through music 

Often, Jacob will come home from work and turn on music. It is like magic: we will all get a second wind and have energy to make dinner and clean up. (And why didn't I think of this earlier? I will say to myself.)  At night, we calm down with music, singing songs to the boys once they're tucked in -- and we've had to cap it at three otherwise we're in there all night. These nighttime songs are almost signal songs, since they tell the boys to settle in for the night, but they change nightly.

When my son started preschool, we carpooled with an adorable little boy. About halfway through our first ride he asked me to turn on some "kids' music." I love listening to music while I drive; and in our car the driver gets to choose the music. "This is kid music," I said. In my opinion, any wholesome music is kids music, and there is no bad language or thematically inappropriate content in any music I listen to. Ergo, my kids listen to what I like. I'm sure as they grow they'll introduce me to new things, but for now, we listen to the music mom and dad love. I don't buy low-quality, oversimplified, annoying "kids' music" that I don't want to listen to. 

That said, here are three albums marketed as kids albums that Jacob and I love: 

• Laura Viers' Tumblebee, 
• Medeski Martin & Wood's Let's Go Everywhere, 
• The Barenaked Ladies' Snacktime. 

What do you think? Is there a tip you would add to this list? Which of these are you most likely to try? And seriously, if you're looking for a music class for a babe age 0-5, email me at alysastewart@gmail.com 

Janey Pie

Jane is a busy mother of two living and working as a freelance photographer in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  She calls her business JaneyPie Photography.  With 2 kids under three and a thriving business to manage, you can bet she's one busy woman!  And she is good at what she does.  One of my favorite things about Jane is that she stays cool when life is chaos.  She's good at saying "It's no big deal" -- a phrase I need to use more often, especially in parenting.

Here are some of her favorite tricks:

1. Creating simple Photoshop Actions to make blogging faster and easier.
2. Running in the morning before the day starts
3. Only planning 1-2 activities per day for me & the kids so that I have more free time for them. So that when Halle says, "Will you read this book?" I can drop everything and say "YES!"
4. Having art/crafty projects at the ready to entertain my two-year-old during down time. 
5. Instead of letting myself get mad when Halle is whiny/tired/irritable, I try to take a deep breath and just redirect her attention. Usually if she's upset or getting into trouble, it's because she's bored, not because she's trying to be a bad girl.
6. Using the same bedtime routine every night to help my toddler recognize it's time to calm down and go to bed. For example:  Making up stories at bedtime that always end with, "And then she got soooo tired and her mommy tucked her into bed and said, 'goodnight - I love you'. " which my two-year-old can relate to. It helps her realize she's tired and that it's bedtime.
7. Bedtime is always easier if I wear out my toddler during the day. That means LESS TV and more PLAY TIME. So I try to go outside with her every day. Hopefully we make it to the park or to the swimming pool. Sometimes it's just chalk on the driveway and watering the garden.
8. When we're out on a walk, I let my toddler run next to me until she gets tired. Then she's more willing to sit in the stroller to relax. 
9. Having certain foods on hand for quick easy dinners. For example: I like to always have chicken, black beans, enchilada sauce, and green chiles on hand so that we can have easy soft tacos in a jiffy. Other quick and easy meals include Pancakes & Eggs, Spaghetti & Meat Sauce, Baked BBQ Chicken with instant mashed potatoes, Roast & Vegetables in the crockpot, and Bagel & Egg sandwiches.
10. Purchasing several of the same girly gift items at once for future birthday gifts at the ready. 
11. Making sure that everything in my house has a "place" so that when it's time for cleanup, we can avoid collecting clutter! (Still working on this one)
12. Photographing the 'non-smile' moments that communicate kid's personality instead of waiting for the smile.  

Living in the Big Apple

Meet Tessa Egan.  She's a mother of two living in a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan.  Yes, you read that right.  1 bedroom, 4 people, living in the heart of New York City!  What an adventure!  I love reading her blog because I'm always amazed by the ways she makes home life happy and functional.  I remember when she first moved to NY.  They had to replace their only car with a nice double stroller and get rid of most of their possessions just to fit in their new apartment.  She now takes the subway to get to and from the grocery store (and everywhere else for that matter.)  Her pace of life is just so different from mine.  And yet, amongst all the hustle and bustle of a big city, she manages to see the beautiful and uplifting details in life.  I'm just so impressed with her.

Out of necessity, she has found lots of tricks to streamline family living.   Here is what she has to say:


The snack bag (I use an insulated lunch bag): Very important in NYC. I pack it every morning with a variety of snacks, and usually some PB&Js if we're not going to be home in time for lunch. I just toss it in the stroller basket and keep it there. We're always on the go, so it really helps to be able to just pull stuff out when the kids are hungry. And when we spend the morning at the park and the kids have already eaten their PB&Js as well, that means, I get to put them straight down for their afternoon nap when we get home. Also, I always keep a last resort treat snack in the stroller (for when the kids break down on the subway), maybe not the best parenting idea, but by that point, I'm just trying to survive.

Packing a stroller: I have to make sure I have everything ready to go in the stroller so I am prepared for whatever comes our way on our little adventures. In the summertime I keep a gallon-size Ziploc with swim shorts for the boys, sunscreen, and mini towel for the park, and usually sand shovels and stuff. In the wintertime, I pack extra gloves, scarves, hats, and usually the stroller gets filled up as we shed layers throughout the day. I always have a water bottle, my wallet, sunscreen, lotion, hand sanitizer on a key ring, the snack bag, a diaper clutch with fresh diaper and wipes, and band aids. I bought a stroller handle organizer so I don't have to carry a purse around with me and so I can grab what I need quickly.

Keeping kids entertained in a tiny apartment: Still trying to figure this one out. What has worked so far: I have a drawer of art supplies that Joseph and Dan love to go to and experiment with. I keep it at kid-level so they can access it when they feel like it (therefore I do not include markers, adult scissors, finger paints, or anything that would need more adult supervision). Joseph loves Crayola crayons, watercolors, paint with water books, playdough, gluesticks and child scissors. And Dan will usually do what Joseph does, but not for as long. During Dan's morning nap, Joseph gets some computer time if he's been good. He gets to play preschool games on PBSkids or Disney online.  
Keeping clutter at bay/saving money: De-cluttering seriously feels great and relieves a lot of stress for me, even though it does take a little time. But it's well worth it. It feels so good to have a few less things in your space that weren't very useful anyway. When we were moving, my rule was to get rid of everything we hadn't used in the last few months (some exceptions of course like sewing machines, personal treasures, files, etc). And honestly, I can't remember what most of those things were. Now we live in such a tiny space that my trick before I buy something is to think in my head of exactly where I'm going to put it. If I can't think of a place and it's not worth making a place for, I don't buy it.
And if I buy an item of clothing for me, I usually switch out something I don't wear any more and give it away. I periodically go through my closet and grade my clothes. The A's get to stay. The B's, I can think about keeping. The C's and D's and F's (as far as how much I like them, or how l look in them) definitely have to go. Then it's not as hard to get dressed in the morning because there aren't too many clothes to go through and when you put something on it will usually look great.  I once heard a rule to follow when shopping (I don't remember where I heard it), but now I use it a lot: If you don't NEED it AND you don't LOVE it...definitely don't buy it. If I'm buying something I don't need, I try to only get it if I can give it a grade of 100%. Or else I'll just end up getting rid of it later:)

Other decluttering tricks:
When I'm sick of a toy, I get rid of it. Sometimes I notice that for the last few weeks I've been stubbing my toe on the same old thing that gets played with for 3 minutes, so out it goes. Sure, there are a few toys that I wish maybe I'd have kept, but usually I don't notice, and then we're left with toys that we really like.
I do make room for children's books.
I limit sheet sets, towels, cleaning supplies, tablecloths, dishes, etc to what we actually USE, because we just don't have room for more. BUT, I do wish I could have room for more:)



Little tricks that I don't really realize I do:

Put my exercise clothes and shoes right by my bed at night so it's that much easier to get dressed and run out the door for exercise in the morning. 

Buy Joseph shoes that he knows how to put on himself. Makes getting out the door so much easier. 

When I'm at the end of my rope: Turn on some fun music or go in another room and close the door for a few minutes while the kids are watching a show. Or if Brandon's home, have him take the kids outside while I clean/cook/eat chocolate all by myself.

When both kids are crying, just get out the door even if they're crying the whole way. Everyone's happier once we get out.

FHE lessons: The Gospel Art Kit is great when we don't have a plan. We let each kid pick a picture and we tell the scripture story.

Pre-mix waffle batter night before for easy breakfast and to add waffles to the snack bag.

Roll cookie dough into balls and put on cookie sheet. Freeze 'til the dough is hard enough and put all of the cookie dough balls in a freezer bag. Pull out how many you need and bake as needed. Easy for last minute dessert/visiting teaching/last minute company coming over.

Keep diaper wipes in the kitchen and bathroom for quick clean-ups.

Wash toilet, mirror, sink in bathroom while the kids are in the tub. Might as well do something useful while I'm keeping an eye on them.

When I have a new baby I like clear shower curtain liners so I can put the baby in the bathroom and still see what's going on while I'm showering.

My favorite mom-rejuvenation trick: When the kids go to bed, it's my time to watch a show, eat a big bowl of fruit, and a piece of dessert. I'm happy to have Brandon join me.

(a note from Emily) Alone time:  her husband takes the kids every Saturday so she can have some time to herself to explore the city or get things done.  Brilliant and necessary!**